


One More, Partner?

by orphan_account



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Accomplice Ending, Bruises, Choking, Dirty Talk, Emotional Abuse, F/M, Facials, Gunplay, Homicide, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Manipulation, Post-Game, Toxic Relationship, Underage Drinking, Victim Blaming, souji is 18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-03-29 01:04:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3876559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’ve got something fun planned. Wanted to see if you were in.”</p><p>It's not blackmail if you actually want to. Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wednesday

_Bzzt bzzt_

Souji’s attempts at concentrating on his lecture snapped as he felt a vibration in his back pocket. The buzzing echoed, amplified against the plastic chair. His classmates side-eyed him as he snatched it out quick in an attempt to minimize the disruption. It was probably Yosuke, thought Souji, but he’d _told_ him not to send texts while he was in class.

A split second later he realized that Yosuke was likely too busy dealing with the lingering fog in Inaba to text him. Too bothered by the lack of a conclusive culprit for the serial killings. He’d been texting him less and less, and Souji couldn’t blame him.

After all, it _was_ his fault.

The teacher continued his lecture, apparently unaware of the disturbance. Sun played through the blinds, creating slats of light against the rows of desks. Souji exhaled, a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. 

_Bzzt bzzt_

It wasn’t a text after all - someone was calling him. Souji kept his face stiffly toward the front of the room and shifted his eyes down to check the number, managing to avoid the teacher’s notice yet again. His classmates huffed sharp puffs of air through pursed lips, tapped their feet and clicked their tongues. City kids could be so uptight. Nobody cared if you checked your phone at Yasogami.

_Bzzt bzzt_

_Incoming call from “pick up”_

Coldness flooded through him – adrenaline, urgent and insistent. “Pick up _”_ was the name he'd put in his phone all those months ago, a cover to prevent his friends in the city from stumbling upon a private number from the Inaba Police Department in his contacts. He realized now that “pick up” wasn’t exactly less conspicuous.

_Bzzt bzzt_

Souji shot up out of his seat. His homeroom teacher finally took notice, whirling around from the whiteboard.

“What is it, Seta?” He asked, lips pursed in disapproval.

“I need to go to the bathroom," Souji lied, "I need to throw up." The teacher opened his mouth to protest, but the cold sweat beading steadily across Souji's forehead prompted him to nod with no further questions. Souji sprinted into the hallway, flipping open his phone just before the last ring.

“H-hello?” He whispered, attempting to mask his panicked, stuttering breaths.

“ _Hey_ , Souji-kun!” The voice was enthusiastic, dripping with such genuine cheer that Souji momentarily wondered if the lighter incident had been some awful shadow-induced dream. “Smart of you to pick up.”

“Adachi-san.” Souji replied, steadying himself against the wall. “What’s going on?”

“I’m impressed you answered this during class, to tell you the truth,” Adachi said.“I forgot that you aren’t as much of a goody-goody as you used to be.”

“You called me during school on purpose,” Souji said with a sigh.

He realized he should be upset with Adachi, should be scared at finally facing some consequences for his horrific actions – but he found the corners of his mouth turning up, just a little. Things were getting boring in the city.

“Maybe I did,” Adachi said with a low, punctuated laugh. "Either way, good thing you answered. You’re as obedient as ever.”

Souji could practically feel the shit-eating grin on Adachi’s face through the phone. He clenched his fists.

“Look - I had a choice, and I _chose_ to burn those letters,” he snapped. “I wasn’t following your orders. I did it because I wanted to –“

He stopped mid-thought. There was a quiet sound of approval from Adachi's end of the line as Souji covered his mouth with his hand. He stared out of the window in the hallway with unfocused grey eyes, scanning the high rises against the skyline out of habit. That he  _wanted_ to burn the letters was something he hadn’t admitted to himself until now. “Well. That’s good to hear,” Adachi replied. The sentiment seemed genuine. 

“So," Souji continued, desperate to change the subject, "why _did_ you call, Adachi-san? You said, ‘If you get calls from this number, you’d better pick up _.’_ Planning on blackmailing me?”

His words were too frantic, tumbling out without consent. He needed this. Needed  _something._

“I wouldn’t call it _blackmail_ if you’re willing _…”_

He remained silent at that, a little flushed at his own unprecedented enthusiasm. There was a heavy sigh, warped through the phone, then the voice returned. 

“I’ve got something fun planned. Wanted to see if you were in.”

There it was again, the adrenaline. But he accepted that it wasn’t from nervousness this time.

“Did you ever hear about that one nurse working at Inaba Medical? Soyoko, Sayaka, I forget her name...”

“Sayoko.” 

“Yeah, her! You heard about what she does?”

“…Maybe.”

Souji shifted with discomfort, remembering her tearful confessions to him and the often _intimate_ ways they had interacted. He hadn’t gotten as close to her as he had wanted - other people had kept him too busy for his night job at the hospital. Like the one he was on the phone with now.

“Eh?” Adachi teased. “Mr. Perfect, friends with the hot nurse too?”

“I guess we were sort of… involved - ”

The detective bursting into laughter cut Souji off.

“Seriously? Shit, Souji-kun!” Another barrage of laughs, Souji winced as the line hitched in its attempts to capture the loud sounds. ”You fucked her, didn’t you? Shoulda known. Souji Seta, wanted by every cute high school girl in Inaba, lands an older woman too. Sheesh, kid.”

“It’s not like _that_ , really, there were just some rumors flying around,” Souji protested. His face was hot against the phone pressed too-hard against it.

“So you didn’t fuck her? Lame.”

“We did everything else. It just… didn’t feel right,” he said, earning him a derisive snort in response. 

“Listen. All rumors are based in truth,” Adachi had shifted into his ‘detective’ voice. “As a member of the Inaba police force, I’m now aware that Sayoko – a local nurse - has _sexually assaulted_ a minor. That’s serious stuff.” 

“I turned eighteen two months ago- ” 

“Fascinating,” Adachi interrupted, “but that really doesn’t count for shit, since we’re discussing your age at the time of the encounter. As I was saying - I’ve also heard that she slept with multiple doctors in the big city in order to get at their money. But she got caught, and her old hospital tossed her out in the boonies. Conclusion: she’s a gold-digging bitch.”

“I don’t know if that’s true,” Souji murmured.

“C’mon. She doesn’t deserve sympathy, she deserves _punishment_. And shouldn’t we have a little fun, first? I’m sure it would be easy for you to convince her. How was the head, by the way? I bet she's great at it." 

“Convince her? To... do... _”  S_ ouji trailed off, running a hand through his hair and pacing further from the classroom door, as if his classmates might overhear even the silence in their conversation. Adachi chuckled at his hesitation.

“Do I hear some gears turning? You get it yet?”

“Adachi-san," he started, "I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t want you to get in trouble but… to help you hurt someone I know….”

Yet through his words of protest, his common sense, he felt something unfurling inside of him. A monster of a thought. He had been so eager moments ago, ready to leap without looking. He already protected this man once, prevented him from meeting justice for his crimes. Was joining him that much more of a stretch? Couldn't he get away with this too?

“But you’re my partner in crime, Souji!” Again with the euphoric laugher, the falsely happy tone disrupting Souji's thoughts. “You’re coming to help me have some fun, or you’re going to jail. Now, which one sounds more appealing to you?”

Souji took a deep breath. This was his punishment, wasn’t it?

“I’ll have to call Uncle Dojima after school to let him know I’m coming to stay for the weekend.”

“Ah. That’s not going to work,” Adachi said, apologetic but firm. “We don’t want your friends knowing you’re back in town, and if you stay at Dojima-san’s, they definitely will. Our mission is top secret - We can't have your posse of wannabe detectives tailing us! No, you're staying with me. Then we won't have to deal with any questions."

He stiffened at that. “I can’t tell my friends I’m coming?”

“Don’t make me laugh. You actually care about them still? Even after betraying them when you protected me? You’re so full of shit.”

“Adachi…”

“Why would you want to see them anyway?" Adachi asked. "They don’t get it. They don’t get how boring and shitty this world really is.”

Souji closed his eyes. “But you do.”

“Exactly. So, you're with me this weekend. I've got a pretty nice couch, some blankets. Should be just fine."

Adachi was right. He had to be.

"Okay," Souji said, resigned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I’ll be there Friday afternoon.”

"All right, I’ll pick you up when the train gets in.” A pause. “And, Souji-kun?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t think you can flake out on me. Ever. We're in this together, now.”

Souji shivered at the seriousness of Adachi's tone, laced with an underlying message that he couldn't quite place.

"I know," he murmured. "I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5/26: added some edits, finally got this to my beta haha
> 
> souji didn't max out many social links in this fic, that's why the nurse still works at Inaba Medical
> 
> next chapter the plan goes into action :o


	2. Friday Afternoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> makeouts ayy

It was raining when Souji’s train pulled into Yasoinaba station.

He blinked slowly, disbelievingly at the streaks on his window as the train stopped. How convenient. Perhaps it would rain the entire weekend –  just enough time for the fog to thicken, enough time for Inaba to find another body spat out of the TV.

Where would it land this time? By the river? Near the high school again? He shuddered at the possibility of it ending up near the Dojima’s, of Nanako seeing the corpse strung up like a puppet in electrical wires.

Souji hoped he would be gone by the time someone discovered it.

He grabbed his small travel bag and walked out of the train station, scanning for familiar faces as he went.  If he saw any of his friends his cover would be blown. If that happened, if they convinced him not to go through with this, Adachi would get him arrested. He ducked his head and picked up the pace.

Outside a tiny car was waiting for him. It looked as though it had been bright red at one point, but the years had reduced it to an off-putting rust color. It was certainly not a nice car.

Perfect for the figure inside, who was certainly not a nice man either.

The window rolled down in jerks, Adachi swearing at the old-fashioned crank as the dirty glass squeaked in protest. It refused to lower any further than halfway down. Adachi opened the door and stuck his head out, grinning, looking every bit the dopey detective everyone knew him to be.  

“Glad you could make it, partner,” he said with a wink. “Hop in!” 

Souji’s skin crawled at the word “partner”– it still sounded wrong, too wrong coming from  _his_ mouth. Regardless, he opened the passenger door and squeezed inside. His long legs were a problem for this vehicle, and he folded them up with a wince as he shut himself in. He crossed his arms across his chest, gripping his shirtsleeves tight enough to wrinkle.

“Heh, s-sorry about our ride, it was the best one I could get on short notice. It’s not like I could just drive us around in a cop car!” Adachi chuckled. If he noticed or cared about Souji’s discomfort, he didn’t acknowledge it. “Anyway, how was the trip?”

“Uneventful. Like the rest of my time in Tokyo has been,” he replied.

“Well, hopefully this weekend will help you feel a  _little_  less bored!” Adachi said, with a smile so big it was a bit crooked. His eyes flicked to Souji as he attempted to pay attention to both the road and his passenger. “I already went to Junes, so I’ll fill you in on the rest of the plan over dinner. Oh and, by the way, this is the last day that our nurse works this week. So we’re doing it tonight. Hope that’s okay!”

“Tonight?” Souji asked. His voice came out just above a whisper. He looked out the window, trying to calm down enough to keep his expression passive.

“Yeah, but let’s not sweat the details ‘til after dinner. She works the night shift anyway, so we have plenty of time!”

Souji chewed on a thumbnail. It was oddly satisfying, removing the rough edges with his teeth– but the moment he smoothed one down, more edges cropped up in their place. He wondered why he hadn’t done it before, or why he felt the need to do it now. 

“Nervous, kid?”

“Maybe.”

“Eh, that’s understandable. It’s your first time, but you're tough. You'll be okay.”

Souji sealed his lips together, feeling his chest constrict. The car pulled up to Adachi's apartment complex, and he steered expertly into his assigned parking spot. Souji shifted in his seat, felt Adachi's eyes boring into the back of his head as he wrenched the aging car door open. Without looking back into the car, he got out.

"Yeah, okay," he managed.

\---

Adachi placed a steaming Styrofoam cup of instant noodles on the low table in front of Souji, along with an impressive-looking plate of stir-fried cabbage and a cold can of Asahi. Souji looked around the tiny apartment, all white and grey, washed out and impersonal. No plants, no family pictures on the wall. It was the opposite of the Dojima’s – warm and welcoming. He could hear Nanako’s “Welcome home, big bro!” in the back of his mind, and it made him ache. Souji wanted to see her. But he knew that was impossible after the decision he had made. 

“Nothin’ fancy like you’re probably used to, but it gets the job done.” Adachi said, sitting down across the table from him with his own dinner.  

“I’m not used to fancy,” Souji retorted, a little hurt. “This is fine.”

He picked up his chopsticks and fussed with the noodles. He didn’t realize how long he had been stirring them until a cough from the other man brought him back.

“You gonna eat, or just sit and play with your food?”

“Sorry,” he said, shoving the noodles into his mouth. He winced as they scalded his tongue. Adachi chuckled.

“Happens to me all the time. Have some beer, it’ll help.”

Souji swallowed the bite slowly, grimacing at the temperature, then eyed the beer. “I’ve, ah, never actually had a drink before.”

“I guess you are still underage,” Adachi said with a small apologetic sigh. “Well, if you want to try it out in a  _safe environment_ , I promise I won’t tell. But we shouldn’t test your tolerance tonight.”

The thought of relinquishing control for a little while as he’d seen Dojima and Adachi do so many times was disturbingly comforting.But Souji didn’t want to risk it at a time when there was so much at stake.

“I’d like to try some tomorrow. If that’s okay.”

“Sounds great. We’ll make it a party! I’ll get us hats or something.”

Souji rolled his eyes, but he smiled in spite of himself. “Whatever works.”

They ate in silence then, with the occasional slurping and satisfied sigh from Adachi.

“So, Souji, you’re bored in the city?”

“Yeah.” He realized that Adachi had dropped the honorific from his name. It sounded so casual. Friendly, even. 

“That’s too bad. I’d  _kill_  to get back there, heh.” Adachi snorted at his own distasteful joke.

Souji shook his head. “Sorry. I guess I just missed Inaba.”

“Inaba missed you too, kid.” He paused. “Including me.”

“Don’t tell me you’re getting soft,” Souji replied. He made a show of scratching at his forehead, hoping it would cover his confusion. Had Adachi really missed him? Ever since he’d burned the warning letters, Souji had fantasized about meeting with him again. About someone needing him who wasn’t also expecting him to _fix_ everything, like everyone else in this town. Adachi was an escape, albeit a twisted one. Something he could depend on.

“Me? No way!” Adachi responded, a mock-hurt look on his face. But after a moment, he exhaled and sat back. “It’s just tough, y’know. When there’s only one person who gets the real me.”

Souji’s heart beat hard against his chest. He’d thought the same thing for some time, but didn’t want to confront it. He didn’t want to risk being rejected, even if it meant cutting himself off from a person who could see him without some sort of filter. A person who never expected him to be perfect, to lead, or make decisions. With Adachi, he could just  _be._ And that terrified him.

“Yeah. I feel the same way,” he said, the words coming out before he could stop them.

“Jeez, kid, you’re really layin’ it on thick here.”

Souji stuffed another bite of noodles into his mouth in an attempt to avoid answering, hoping that the heat from the food would mask the color in his cheeks. The silence stretched on, more tense than comfortable now.

Adachi slammed his palm on the table, breaking the quiet, an agitated furrow on his features. “Look, ever since you helped me out, I keep thinking about you. It’s pissing me off.”

“What?” Souji’s mind raced at the outburst. “How?

“You had everything I wanted when I was your age. Friends, good grades, a real family, cute girls. It all came to you so naturally. I was… jealous, I think. And yet you chose to throw that away for someone like me. I don’t get it.”

“Because I didn’t… I  _don’t_ want any of that.” 

Adachi laughed, harsh and sardonic. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? Mr. Perfect doesn’t want any more  _greatness_ thrust upon him?”

“I’m tired of people always relying on me,” Souji explained. “I wanted to help as many people as I could, but I spread myself so thin that now I hardly remember who I am anymore–”

He bit his lip at Adachi’s dark expression, stifling the rest of his thought.

“Yeah, relationships are tough. That’s why I prefer being alone. But we seem to agree on that.”

Adachi stood up, his knees cracking at the speed of the motion. He walked around the table with quick, measured steps, and came to a stop a bit  _too_  close to Souji. He felt his pulse quicken, his body frantic to get blood to his extremities in case he needed to run or fight. 

“You’re an ungrateful little shit sometimes, you know that?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

He was cut off by a hand, hard on his shoulder. Adachi squatted down next to him, his mouth turned downward, face pinched as if he was thinking about something difficult.

“You’re so damn  _good,_ Souji,” he said, low and bitter. “How am I supposed to believe someone like you could sink to my level?” 

“What can I do to make you believe that I’m on your side?” Souji asked. “If there’s anything…”

“You can shut up.”

“What do y—”

One second he was sitting upright at the table, and the next Adachi had slammed him to the floor, caging him in with his legs and arms. The shock of his weight knocked the wind out of Souji.

Adachi grabbed Souji’s shirt collar in his fists and yanked, pulling his torso up until their faces were inches apart.

“Shut.  _Up_ ,” he hissed, and his tone was so dangerous that Souji only responded with a pronounced blink. His breath smelled vaguely of alcohol, but he knew from experience that Adachi couldn’t be drunk yet.

His mind was blank with terror as he tried to formulate some sort of plan. _Adachi was going to kill him._ Of  _course_  he didn’t actually want his help, he was a damn  _serial killer_. Souji had given him the perfect opportunity to get rid of the only person who knew the truth about him. It made sense, and he was an idiot for ever believing otherwise. They were never partners. They weren't even friends.

The adrenaline continue to pound through him, pushing to  _go, run—_ but he couldn’t get himself to struggle. He figured this was some sort of divine justice for betraying his family and friends. Then there was heat against his lips, hands grabbing his shoulders, pushing him back against the floor.

Adachi was kissing him.

Souji was too startled to move, let alone reciprocate, and when Adachi pulled away his breaths were ragged and hot against his face. Adachi’s eyes widened, mouth agape, as if confused by his own action. He looked over Souji’s face and his grip renewed. 

“Shit,” he growled. He dipped back down.  

Given Adachi’s particular track record with rejection, Souji figured it would be best to play along. He responded, slow at first, earning an appreciative grunt from Adachi. He pressed his tongue past Souji's clumsy lips, a long, lingering kiss that made him feel lightheaded. The hands clenching his shoulders loosened, as if the detective sensed that he had decided against running away.

With girls, Souji had always been the one sweeping them off their feet, their proverbial knight in shining armor. He never dared press them for something they weren’t ready for, something they wouldn’t give. But this, being with _Adachi,_  felt entirely different. Was he being seduced? Did he want this?

Did he even care? 

He met Adachi's pace now, arching against him as he nipped across Souji's jaw and trailed open-mouthed kisses down his neck. Souji's hands moved down Adachi's lower back before he realized what he was doing, pulling him closer.

Souji didn’t want to worry about anyone else anymore. He didn’t want to bother with the consequences of his actions.

So he stopped thinking. 

Adachi shifted a knee between Souji's legs and pressed, causing him to groan at the impact, bucking against it. Souji realized with a pang of shame that he was hard, his dick already straining against the leg of his pants.  Adachi rubbed his knee against the bulge with a sadistic gleam in his eye, leaning toward Souji's ear.

“Huh. You’re actually enjoying this, aren’t you?”

Souji nodded on reflex before he had thought about what it might lead to. He felt Adachi smile against him.

“Wow.”

He moved his head back to Souji's neck, fisted a hand in his hair and yanked his head back. He bit down, hard sucks that had Souji gasping, clawing for purchase at his back. Adachi was situated entirely between his legs now, grinding his hips tight against Souji’s as he pressed sloppy kisses down his chest, unbuttoning the shirt as he went. Souji moaned, the sound cracking through the breath he was desperately trying to control. Adachi stopped. He moved back up to face him. 

“I thought you were better at following rules. I told you to be quiet.” And then he kissed him again, rutting even harder against Souji's thin frame, taking his bottom lip between his teeth and sucking, running his tongue along it. Souji felt like everything was surrounded by a haze, he couldn’t see, couldn't make decisions anymore – all he knew was that he couldn’t bring himself to say no.

“Ah,” Adachi moved back, saliva stringing between them as his mouth left Souji’s. “Woah. Sorry, I forgot. I still need to tell you the plan.” He sat up slow, moving off of Souji’s heaving body and casually tucking his own hard-on into his waistband. "Got a little carried away there. Oops!"

If Souji hadn’t known any better, he'd say Adachi looked like he had just walked into work late, not that he had recently been kissing him to the point of semiconscious. He stared at the ceiling, his face slack, catching his breath and trying to think of _anything_ besides Adachi’s tongue on his body. He felt the dread of what they were about to do come creeping back, and he wondered if this was Adachi's way of calming him down. 

It definitely distracted him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter started getting too long so I had to split it up - but that means chapter 3 will be up relatively soon! 
> 
> THANKS TO MY [BETA](http://gaymarveltrash.tumblr.com) who is my shining star and catches all my errors. like how I accidentally gave them forks instead of chopsticks. oops.
> 
> and if you wanna follow me, I'm over [here!](http://maeihas.tumblr.com)
> 
> ghhhh i can't believe how many kudos this got already! thank yall so much :)))
> 
> the rating is probably going up either next chapter or the chapter after... and extra tags will be needed h aha


	3. Friday Evening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw smut and dubiously consensual physical abuse in this chapter guys! also, new tags have been added and the rating has gone up

Despite Inaba being such a small town, Souji’s schedule was even busier than it had been in the big city. On top of solving the serial murder case, there was the matter of training his Personas in the TV while still juggling time spent with family and friends. He had to attend school, work, clubs, and sports practice. Then do it all over again.

He had a different face for every person, every task, and he often wondered if this was the source of his Wild Card ability. But occasionally, he ended up with an evening where his schedule was empty. On those nights, accompanied by an ever-present steaming mug of coffee from his uncle, he curled up on the futon to read.

Souji reveled in the warmth he felt whenever the middle-aged man outside the bookstore called him over, grinning, pointing at the “New Arrivals!” poster in the window. He loved the way the pages cracked when he opened them– something precious, unseen. Someone else’s mind to inhabit for a while.

There, panting on the floor of Adachi’s apartment, he picked his brain for something from one of his books that might help him recalibrate. He thought of the last book he had picked up, the second volume in the _Forever Manly_ series.

 _A man always knows the difference between what he wants and what he needs. He accepts what is necessary without questioning it, then moves forward as necessary. The manliest men ultimately choose what is right for_ them _, not just for everyone around them._

Souji moved one lethargic hand to his forehead. It was a little sweaty, still warm. Was Adachi acting in a way that the author of _Forever Manly_ would approve of?

Did Adachi even know what he needed?

The detective’s head was propped on his clasped hands, elbows mounted on the table. He watched Souji, who was still staring at the ceiling, and clicked his tongue with impatience.

“So,” Adachi began, “You ready to talk business?”

Souji sat up slow, coming back. “What just happened didn't seem very businesslike.”

A chuckle. “That’s what you think now. Maybe it’s all part of the plan.”

“I doubt that.” Souji rubbed at a spot on his neck where, he was sure, bruises must be forming. It was still tender.

“Well, hear me out,” Adachi said, letting his hands fall to the table with a thump. “We can’t just show up to the hospital and expect to see our nurse. Not only are they probably too busy for us, two perfectly healthy people, but it’ll be tough to make sure we see _her_ rather than someone else.” He raised his eyebrows and stroked his chin, perfectly mimicking the cheesy detectives on TV. Souji couldn’t help but chuckle - the gesture didn’t quite work without a beard.

“So what can we do?”

“Hang on, I’m getting there!” Adachi frowned at the interruption, then continued. “There’s a solution to this. If one of us happened to be injured, one of us who had previously been in a secret relationship with Mrs. Uehara…”

Souji’s stomach lurched as the plan clicked into place. “Are you asking me to… injure myself?”

“Hey, thanks for volunteering!” He flashed Souji a grin. “It’ll be much more convincing if it’s you who’s hurt anyway. She knows you better.”

“What am I supposed to do, throw myself against the wall until I break something?” Souji groaned, covering his eyes with one hand. He needed more time to think, more space, someone less distracting to reason with. Yosuke popped into his mind for a moment, and he had to stifle a laugh. As if any of his friends could help him with this. 

“Well, that would be a little difficult. I figure…” Adachi lowered his voice, leaned in closer. “I could do it for you. Your skin is so smooth, y’know? It’ll probably bruise pretty easily.”

Souji shivered, turning away. He rubbed his neck again, and his hands began to shake. If he already had gotten bruised unintentionally, he couldn’t imagine what Adachi could do when he was _trying_ to hurt him. As if on cue, Adachi pulled Souji’s hand away, smirking as he saw the two small hickies already blooming just above his collarbone.

“See?”

Yanking his arm from the detective’s grasp, Souji pursed his lips. Adachi broke his personal bubble so easily, and it felt too _exciting_ , too _good_. He definitely wouldn’t want Adachi to take his hand again, press it behind his back, force his tongue into his mouth –

Souji shook his head. He must have only kissed him to mess with him. Some sort of test. It didn’t mean anything, he couldn’t allow it to affect him this much. He was about to become an accomplice in homicide. This was no time for fun - no matter how absurdly turned on he was by the rogue detective. He coughed and tried to change the subject. Adachi was still too close. 

“What about security cameras? Are you sure we can get away with this?” 

Adachi swatted at the air as if the question was an obnoxious insect. “Nah, Inaba medical is super low-tech. They only have cameras in the main rooms and hallways, I checked already.”

Souji wracked his brains for any other vital piece of information he was missing, something to delay the inevitable. “Uh. What time are we leaving?” 

“Nineish.”

He looked at the clock, the only decoration on the blank wall. “It’s eight now,” he said, staring hard at the minute hand. “Not much time.”

“Exactly. So we need to make a decision. Well, _you_ need to make a decision," Adachi amended.

Souji looked at him, jaw set. “What decision? You already know what I’m going to say.”

That threw him off, and he faltered, something Souji hadn’t seen him do much outside of his goofy cop façade.

“Are you sure, Souji?" He asked, placing a hand on Souji's shoulder. It was a bit too firm to be comforting. "I know this is a bit more than you bargained for. I won’t do  _anything_ you don’t want me to."

Adachi hummed, scanning his face, and Souji almost flinched at the intensity. All this attention on him. He nodded, once, more to himself than to Adachi. It must have been convincing enough because the hand on his shoulder moved, ghosting across his jaw to rest under his chin. His eyes met Souji's as he held it, testing, waiting. 

Souji’s body trembled treacherously with anticipation. He couldn’t move. His mind was hazy, conflicting thoughts whirling through it - Adachi’s lips on his neck, Adachi’s teeth, Adachi’s tongue, Adachi _killed two people, this can't possibly end well_ - 

“So say it,” the detective murmured, his head cocked, free hand curled into a fist. Souji couldn’t tell if he was holding himself back or getting ready to hit him. “Say you want me to.” 

“I… want you to.” The words came out feeling like someone else had said it in his place.

Adachi’s face was so close now Souji could feel his breath on his skin. Adachi ginned, satisfied, his hand cupping Souji’s jaw more firmly now, a thumb kneading his cheek.

“Don’t worry. It’ll be easy to make this look like a domestic abuse case. I know all the signs, after all.”

Souji’s breath caught in his throat as he frantically recalled everything he knew about the definition of domestic abuse, but his thoughts derailed again as Adachi’s thumb trailed to his bottom lip. His half lidded eyes were on Souji's mouth.

“Just relax.”

Adachi pressed him to the floor and moved on top of him, his hands pressing Souji's wrists against the floor. He looked down at him with such a soft expression that, for a second, Souji thought he might kiss him again.

Then he moved his hands to Souji’s neck, long slender fingers wrapped almost the entire circumference of it, thumbs interlocking around his Adam’s apple. He lowered his hips against Souji’s for support, putting so much weight on them that Souji could feel his length through his pants. It was already hard. Souji shuddered as pangs of need washed over him, wishing he wasn't so affected by such an awful situation.

“I’ll make this as easy as possible,” he whispered, leaning down to Souji’s ear. “Trust me, Souji.”

He squeezed his hands together, the pressure forcing Souji’s throat closed and pinning him to the ground. Pain flooded his vision with white, and when he couldn’t lift himself away from the floor he writhed in an instinctive panic. He tried to cough, clear his throat, but he couldn’t. His airways were shut, Adachi’s fingers massaging almost lovingly into him. He felt like he was watching himself from someplace far away, his head was dizzy and light.

 _A real man accepts what is necessary without questioning it._  

Adachi’s eyes were the only thing he could bring into focus. They were squinting, almost mirthful with the exertion from keeping him down. Souji hadn’t even realized he was thrashing against him.

 _The manliest men choose what’s right for_ them _, not just everyone around them._

Souji repeated the lines in his mind like a mantra, something to distract him from the ache seeping into his bones, to explain why Adachi’s actions were justified. He asked for this. He wanted this. Adachi was just doing what he needed to do for their plan. He tried to stop resisting, to get it over with.

But seconds later, the hands relaxed, and there was something pressing against his lips instead. Souji inhaled sharply, trying to take air into his starving lungs, but Adachi wouldn’t let him. His body was shaking at the sudden reprieve, weak, unable to do anything but play along. Adachi took Souji’s bottom lip between his teeth and tugged, his tongue teasing over it. Souji took the opportunity to take a long, deep breath.

Then, Adachi’s lips were gone, and the squeezing returned. He looked at Adachi’s face again, the only thing he could see, the only thing that existed, his image blurred by the tears filling his eyes. Adachi looked at him with reverence, his smile so wild it looked like he might rip him apart.

_A man always knows the difference between what he wants and what he needs._

Souji was starting to enjoy the lightness, the sense of being apart from himself yet so close to the other man. The pain felt _good,_ better than he’d ever imagined. Finally, he was being punished.

Adachi loosened his grip and inspected Souji’s neck.

“A-da... chi,” Souji croaked, reaching upward toward the other man's wrists. He held them weakly through shallow breaths.

“You’re doing great, Souji. Just needs a little more.” Adachi whispered, half-apologetic as he renewed his grip.

Again, the lightness. But Souji knew what was coming now, and he bucked up against Adachi, tears spilling from his eyes. He was dimly aware of drool trickling out of the right corner of his mouth, too preoccupied to be embarrassed by it. He wanted this, he wanted _more_. 

“Damn, is this actually turning you on?” 

Adachi removed one of his hands from his neck, alleviating some of the pressure, and moved it down to the bulge in Souji’s pants.

“What a mess. You’re even more of a slut than I expected, Souji.” Adachi moved his hand, rubbing against the straining fabric. “What do you really want right now?”

Souji fought to speak through the lack of oxygen, eventually wringing out a soft "Hm!" He nodded up toward Adachi in his daze as if that was an acceptable answer to the question.

“Hmm?” Adachi taunted, loosening his grip further on Souji’s neck. “What is it?”

“ _Adachi_ ,” Souji choked out, pleading.

“Tell me,” he demanded. Adachi squeezed Souji’s dick through his pants, leering. His parted mouth betrayed how heavy his breaths had become, and his expression alone almost pushed Souji over the edge.

“M-more!” Souji finally answered, earning him a hum of satisfaction from Adachi, who undid his pants. Souji’s cock was leaking from the lack of attention, painfully hard. Adachi began to stroke, slow, and Souji moaned at the sudden stimulation, his voice cut off by a reproachful squeeze of his neck from the man's other hand. 

“This is what you wanted all along, isn’t it? You wanted me to touch you.” A sharp squeeze, another moan. “That’s why you came back to Inaba.”

“I wanted - _ngh_ \- to help you. ”

Adachi’s thumb flicked over the tip of his cock, rubbed, spreading the pre cum down his shaft. 

“No you didn’t. Helping me was just a means to an end. You wanted to feel needed.”

Souji grimaced with shame, biting his lip so hard it began to bleed. Adachi was moving his hand fast now, twisting up and down in a corkscrew motion. The telltale numbness coiling in his lower body, his hands and feet losing feeling - he was too close now.

“Please, Adachi, I…”

But Adachi stopped, pulled back, and the younger man slumped against the floor. He hadn’t realized how tense he had been. His cock ached, throbbing against his stomach.

“Ah-ah, we’re not done yet - though _you_ seem pretty close.”

Finally releasing his neck, Adachi began to tug Souji's half-undone pants the rest of the way off.

“What are you doing?” Souji asked, breathless, too frustrated to comprehend Adachi’s actions.

“I can’t just leave you with bruises in one spot, ya know. Needs to look convincing.”

He put his hands underneath Souji’s legs and pushed his thighs up and back toward the floor, spreading him wide. Souji would have never imagined himself being put into a position like this even a few days ago. From Adachi’s expression, _he_ seemed to appreciate it. His hands dug hard into Souji's legs. 

“It needs to look like I forced you,” Adachi said in a casual tone, like he was talking about the weather rather than a falsified abuse case as he dug his nails into Souji's skin. The pain wasn’t making Souji uncomfortable anymore, in fact, he was beginning to enjoy it more and more. He pressed himself toward Adachi's hands, knowing it would help the marks form faster.

After spending some time on his legs, Adachi rucked up Souji's shirt and moved his hands to his hips, scratching and pressing his nails in. Slowly, he worked his way up to his chest, biting and sucking the skin black and blue.

Souji was nearly at his limit. He tried to hold himself together, to treat the process as something impersonal, but he couldn’t. He hissed at one particularly satisfying suck against his nipple, felt Adachi smiling against his skin as he nipped there again, taunting, causing him to cry out. Adachi chuckled and moved up to face him.

“You’re just like a girl, Souji. Such a little  _bitch_. I had no idea you’d be this easy." 

He moved Souji’s arms over his head, pinning them by the wrists, crushing the delicate bones together so hard that Souji's hands started to lose feeling. Their bodies were flush together in this position, and Adachi grinded lazily against him.

“At least you’re _my_ bitch,” he whispered, half-smiling as Souji gasped, twitched against him at his words.

Souji knew he had to turn the tables somehow, get Adachi as riled up as he was. His entire body was stinging, sore, and utterly on edge.

He surged up and kissed him, angry, greedy, devouring to pay him back for every new mark on his body. Adachi stopped for a moment, stunned at his initiative, but responded with enthusiasm. Adachi grinded faster, frantic against him, one hand letting go of Souji’s wrists to reach down and stroke him again. Waves of heat, cold and numbness tumbled over each other across Souji, and he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. 

“Adachi," Souji breathed between kisses, "I'm - !"

“No, you’re not,” Adachi growled, realizing his mistake, making to grab Souji’s cock at the base.

But he was a split second too late, and Souji let out an agonizing hiss of a moan as he arched up. Cum spurted across his stomach, the intensity of his orgasm sending some nearly past his chin. He collapsed against the floor, his head lolling to the side, chest heaving with satisfied sighs. 

“S… sorry.” he managed, touching the mess with mild disgust.

“Idiot. I told you not to.”

Post-orgasm, bruised and battered, Souji couldn’t move even after Adachi rolled off of him. The detective unzipped his own pants, finally freeing himself, looking down at Souji with a unsettling smile. “Now I get to finish wherever I want.”

Adachi began touching himself, slow and purposeful, his eyes roaming over Souji’s body like a predator eyeing up prey. Souji had never seen him so angry. His shoulders were shaking, though it was hard to tell whether it was from fury or being turned on for too long.

“Hmm. I think I wanna cover your pretty face with my cum. How’s that sound?”

Souji didn’t have the energy to respond, or even resist as Adachi’s hand grabbed under his chin and yanked his face up. He knelt close to Souji, furiously stroking himself as he loomed over him with a lopsided grin.

“Good boy. Now tell me how much you want it, Souji.”

“I, ah," Souji started, unable to tear his gaze from Adachi's dick, so close to him. "I want it.”

“Nh… yeah? Not very convincing. Again."

"Please, Adachi," Souji whispered, realizing with a jolt just how badly he wanted to see Adachi come. He wanted to see that bliss on his face, to know that  _he_ was the one who'd made it happen. And all he had to do was let Adachi hurt him.

Adachi’s brow furrowed at that, his hand jerking, a quick " _ah!"_ escaping his lips before he came with a shudder. Ribbons of cum shot across Souji’s face, obstructing his view. It landed in his slightly parted mouth, across his nose and cheeks, a bit even catching in his bangs.

Souji sputtered, rubbing at it the moment Adachi released his chin.

“Next time don’t finish unless I say so, or else," he said, in a voice so casual the threat almost seemed empty.

But Souji knew better. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe i finally published a smutty scene and its ADASOU... fgfgdsdjf
> 
> added a little bit/edited on 8/2


	4. Friday Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry christmas, here's some pain! 
> 
> warnings: this chapter contains explict consensual m/f and implied rape.

Souji stumbled into Adachi’s bathroom and turned on the tap as hot as it would go. Steam billowed up in seconds, already beginning to obscure the mirror. He searched for something small to clean his face with, something like a washcloth, but came up short – the bathroom was sparsely stocked save for two threadbare towels on the rack. It made sense to Souji that Adachi, with his frugal lifestyle, would be living with the bare minimum to get by. He wondered absently how often Adachi actually _washed_ his towels as he dipped the corner of one underneath the faucet. Pain erupted from the fresh scratches on his wrists when the scalding water touched them, and he snatched his hand back with a grimace. Souji turned the temperature down, cursing under his breath as the wounds throbbed.

He examined his reflection as he lathered up a section of the towel with soap. His eyes lingered first on the finger-shaped strips of black, purple and red that decorated his neck, with half-circles where Adachi’s nails had taken hold. There was a particularly dark bite mark under his right ear. Cum dripped steadily down his cheeks and chin, and the bits in his hair caused his bangs to stick out in strange directions. A pool of it had collected at the inner corner of his right eye, but he hoped that tilting his head to the left would keep it trapped safely against the bridge of his nose for the time being.

Souji bent down toward the sink, splashing water on his face and scrubbing at it with the towel, perhaps a bit too hard. He felt his shoulders unknot as he rubbed, feeling clean for the first time in several hours.

The dirtiness made him feel uneasy, out of control. But seeing the bruises on his skin was exciting in its own way. Tangible evidence that Adachi had _chosen_ him. Thinking about Adachi’s teeth on his neck only minutes ago sent a shiver through him.

Things had gotten out of hand so quickly; Souji didn’t know if he wanted to run toward Adachi or away from him. All his life, he’d given himself tirelessly to help others. Now, in a scenario far more twisted than he could have imagined, there was a chance for freedom in his future. He could choose Adachi. He could choose selfishness. Maybe he already had. Either way, a need filled him, cold and keening, and he couldn’t ignore it. Not after what he’d done.

Maybe his punishment could be seen as a reward, if he only looked at it from the right perspective

Souji wrung out the corner of the towel and chose a less damp portion to dry himself off, but jumped as his upper arm grazed against something sticky on his shirt. He’d neglected to notice the sizable amount of his own cum on the upper portion of it. Souji tore off his school jacket and shirt in disgust, folding the shirt inside out and placing it on the ground. Hopefully Adachi would let him borrow something; they were probably around the same size.

“Souu-ji-kun!” Adachi sang, his voice muffled by the door and the still-running faucet. “Are you done yet? We’re leaving soon!”

“Give me a second,” Souji called back, groaning when he realized he hadn’t yet addressed the stuff still in his hair. He fingered the locks apart in disgust, moving to check Adachi’s shower for shampoo. It was a standing shower, off-white and barely big enough for one, so he easily spotted the small bottle flung carelessly on the floor. He squirted some into his hands and returned to the sink. After a few seconds of rubbing it into his bangs, he could tell it was cheap stuff, but it smelled pretty nice. Neutral, soapy with a hint of wood – it seemed too pleasant to belong to Adachi.

“It’s almost 9 o’clock. What’s taking you so long? I’m coming in!”

“No! I’m fine, really, that’s not necessary,” Souji responded, hunching over the sink fast as he started to rinse out the shampoo.

Preoccupied and hurried, he didn’t feel or hear the door opening behind him. Didn’t notice someone drawing close until a hand slapped hard against his ass. Stunned still, he felt the hand linger, squeezing. When Souji regained himself and bolted upright, it was gone. Souji glared at Adachi’s innocent expression in the mirror through dripping bangs.

“Heh… anyway,” Adachi said, cocking his head. “Sorry about my awful aim.” He gestured to Souji’s face with a grin that made his words seem insincere. “Nobody’s ever let me finish on their face before. You seemed so excited, I couldn’t help myself.”

“You were… teasing me a lot,” Souji murmured, making to grab the towel again.

“How was I supposed to know how much you were going to like it? Messing you up was part of the deal, sure, but I wasn’t expecting you to _enjoy it_ so much _,_ ” Adachi said, and Souji’s stomach clenched up at that. It only took those words to send his pulse racing again. He felt pathetic, but there was no way in hell he’d let Adachi know that. He couldn’t inflate the man’s ego any more than he had already. Souji kept his mouth firm, his eyes blank, the same way he’d done for years.

Every inch of him wanted to respond to Adachi, to tell him he wasn’t sure if he liked it or not, but he wouldn’t. Talking to him was like taking steps on a tightrope – every word had to be carefully placed, or he’d lose whatever game they had started.

“Hey, since you’re in here," Souji said, "I need to borrow a shirt. Mine’s dirty.” He held it up in explanation, determined not to give Adachi the reaction he was looking for.

“Don’t change the subject,” Adachi snapped, grabbing Souji’s hips and using his body weight to press him against the sink. He hooked his chin over Souji’s shoulder and ground his hips against his ass. His cock was already half-hard. It took all of Souji’s willpower to stifle a gasp at the sudden contact.

“Y’know, you look good all marked up like that. It suits you. Look,” he hummed, one hand sliding up Souji’s chest to his jaw, wrenching his face forward.

Souji did. He saw the spots of black and red across his torso, his own slightly parted lips, still swollen from bites. His hands, which had apparently dropped the makeshift washcloth in his surprise, trembling slightly. Adachi, leering over his shoulder, holding him there, knuckles pale from the tightness of his grip. Though his face was smiling, his eyes appeared blank. It was unnerving.

Souji had to stop this before something else happened. His body was betraying him, he could tell by the slight shake beginning to run through his knees.

“Hey. Are we going to do this or what?” Souji hissed, shrugging the shoulder Adachi was perched on. Adachi obliged and moved back, raising his eyebrows and holding his hands up in surrender.

“Yeah, yeah. You're right, we need to going. I should probably grab you a shirt, huh?”

“Probably.”

Adachi flashed a grin at him before departing, and Souji picked up the towel mechanically and hung it back on the rack. He gave his skin another weary once-over before emerging from the bathroom himself, leftover steam accompanying him. He plopped onto the couch and began to chew at the nail of his index finger, staring into space and trying hard not to think at all.

The clunking of drawers being opened and closed quickly was coming from Adachi’s room, along with lazy rustling of clothes being search thought. Souji knew he hadn’t been sitting long, but his body had gone rigid with tension as he waited for Adachi to choose a shirt for him. The magnitude of the task at hand was still holding him fast, though he tried to distance himself.

Adachi returned with a relatively dressy white collared shirt in tow. 

“It’s long sleeved, so people won’t look twice at you on the street.” He said, holding it out triumphantly.

“How thoughtful,” replied Souji dryly as he took the shirt. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it,” Adachi said, his eyes lingering on Souji’s mottled chest before he. pulled the shirt over his head. He hadn't bothered to undo the buttons, but it still went on easily. He patted it down, satisfied, and nodded at Adachi.

”Y’know, This’ll be fun. I’m pretty excited!”

“That’s one way to put it.” Souji muttered as Adachi twirled his keys around one finger and walked toward the door of the apartment, beckoning to Souji as he went.

\-------

The smell of disinfectant wafted over them as Souji and Adachi walked through the entrance of the hospital. The lobby was barren and silent that night, entirely empty save for three rows of chairs, two couches, and a few tables stacked with reading material. A bored woman sat behind the greeting counter, flipping through an outdated magazine.

Such a sterile environment made Souji feel even dirtier, if that was possible.

“You ready, kid?” Adachi asked. His voice was quiet, vibrating with excitement.

“Of course,” Souji replied reflexively, not giving himself the chance to consider if he really _was_ ready. He adjusted the collar of the shirt Adachi had lent him. Aside from the sleeves being a bit short, it fit well.

“Okay. Start limping, look upset or something. Let them see how bad you feel. The worse you look, the faster we’ll get in.”Adachi was confident, his words smooth and collected under his breath. Souji noted that before he’d known the truth about Adachi, “confident” and “collected” were two words he’d never have used to describe him.

In his mind, Souji went over the routine he used to get into character for the school play several years ago – make your mindset that of the character and adjust your body accordingly. Only this time he was already in the mindset. He needed no further cues. His head lowered naturally on his neck, shoulders slumped, and he slowed his pace to a shuffle. His mouth dropped slightly open, and he made sure to keep his gaze loose and aimless. It felt too natural, like he was finally allowed to project how he truly felt. Like he was taking off a costume instead of putting one on.

“Perfect, Souji-kun. Just like that,” Adachi said under his breath. He placed a hand on the small of Souji’s back, a gesture that might be perceived as concerned or supportive at a glance. But the fingers massaging through the fabric of his jacket said otherwise.

The hospital was quiet at night. Souji remembered that from his time working here. Besides emergencies – pregnancies, sick children – the silence was smothering. It would have been creepy if he wasn’t so accustomed to it.

They reached the front desk, and the women behind it closed her magazine only after leaving a thumb to mark her place. She looked up, weary eyes lingering at Souji’s neck.

“Welcome to Yasoinaba Hospital. How can I help you this evening?”

“This is my boss’s nephew, Souji Seta,” Adachi started, his eyebrows furrowed in distress. “He’s been dealing with some pretty bad stuff at home and wanted to get checked out here. Is there any chance Ms. Uehara is working this evening? They were coworkers for a while, and he trusts her most out of anybody here.”

“I’m not sure if we can take any special requests, especially for an emergency…” the woman said dubiously.

Adachi looked from Souji to the secretary, his eyes sparkling on the verge of tears. “Please, miss. I think he deserves any small comfort he can get right now.”

If the situation hadn’t been so serious, Souji might have laughed. Adachi was the picture perfect concerned citizen, doing a good deed. Nobody would guess the truth about him. Nobody except Souji.

The secretary seemed to recognize him after another look. “Ah, Seta-kun. Detective Dojima’s nephew. Yes, he and Nurse Uehara were quite close when he was working here last year. If that would make him more comfortable, I’ll ask for her specifically. If you’ll just wait over there, she should be out momentarily.” She gestured at one of the empty rows of seats before picking up the phone.

They chose a pair of seats far away from the greeting desk, Adachi’s smile verging on vaguely threatening as he leaned back in the chair and linked his hands behind his head.

“Don’t look so smug. We’re not done yet,” Souji reminded him, attempting to keep his voice level.

“Relax, we’re on the right track,” Adachi whispered, elbowing him. “Nervous, huh?”

“No, I’m fine.”

Souji didn’t mention the nausea filling him up. The knowledge that he would be assisting in ending someone’s life, deserving or not, was paralyzing. But he had to do it. The other two deaths may have been his fault anyway. If he’d only been able to meet Adachi sooner, maybe he could have stopped them somehow. He was already guilty.

Adachi shrugged. “Whatever, kid. I have faith in you. Just remember to be cool and follow my lead, alright?" 

Souji looked at him incredulously. “’Follow your lead’? Is there something you aren’t telling me?”

“We’re partners, and you aren’t the target. Remember that.”

“What are you talking about?”

Adachi glanced away from him, and Souji followed his gaze, about to ask him another question until he saw who it was.

“Seta-kun?”

The sight of Nurse Uehara made his heart lurch. Her expression of genuine concern took him off guard – a far cry from the flirty smiles and mischievous banter he was accustomed to. She turned to Adachi, her mouth pinched in a straight line.

“Detective Adachi. Where is Detective Dojima? Shouldn’t he be acting as his nephew’s guardian?”

“I’m acting as his guardian tonight. I can explain during the examination.”

Sayoko looked him over warily, but nodded and turned back to Souji. “Let’s get this done quickly. You deserve a good rest tonight.”

“Thank you,” Souji mumbled, giving her the most grateful smile he could manage.

“Follow me, please,” she directed, turning around and leading them the short distance to the entrance of the hallway to the examination rooms. Souji and Adachi lagged behind as she unlocked the door.

“Good luck kid,”Adachi whispered, accompanied by a light elbow to Souji’s ribcage which happened to hit a bruise. Souji flinched at the pain caused from such a small gesture. Perhaps that had been Adachi’s intention.

The hallway was as eerie as ever, the windows black and reflecting the half-light coming from the dim fluorescent bulbs. Souji remembered that the lights were dimmed at night in the treatment wards, for patients who were asleep or otherwise stressed by light. She turned into room B13, just as Adachi had predicted, and the brightness of the ceiling lights hit his eyes like a grenade. He winced, shielding them as they adjusted.

“You may sit over there.” She pointed to the strip of paper covering the exam table. “I’ll have to examine you before we can have the doctor come in.” She shot Adachi an apologetic smile. “After the initial questioning, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

Adachi shrugged. “That’s fair. He’s legally an adult now. I’m just here to help.”

Sayoko waited for an affirmative look from Souji before clicking a pen and positioning it on her clipboard.

“Sou-“ She stopped almost immediately, stumbling over his first name and casting a weary glance at Adachi. “Seta-kun. What were the events leading up to your assault?”

“I can’t really say,” Souji whispered, looking down. He hoped he could deflect lying as long as possible.

As if on cue, Adachi pulled the nurse aside. “Souji-kun told me he wasn’t comfortable talking about it,” he began in a low voice. “Essentially from what he’s told me… his father cornered him one night when he stayed out too late… Dojima-san’s brother-in-law, you know, we couldn’t talk to him about it…”

Souji watched as Adachi spoke on his behalf, a well-meaning family friend. Watched the nurse’s mouth drop in horror as the story had its intended effect. She wiped her hands on her white dress several times, as if in an attempt to clear the story from her memory.

“Thank you, Adachi-san. I will take things from here.”

He walked to the door then, giving a respectful nod of his head to the nurse before ducking out.

“Souji-kun,” she said, lowering her voice and moving closer to him. “I am so sorry. You don’t deserve this. You’re too good of a kid.”

Souji almost couldn’t answer her with the guilt eating away at him. He _had_ been too good of a kid, once, hadn’t he? 

“It’s okay, Sayoko-san. I’ve been through worse.” 

She shook her head. “No, even in my line of work, I’ve hardly ever seen marks like that. You’ve been through a lot, and I know there’s not much I can do… but there is one thing I remember you used to enjoy while we worked together.”

He gulped, taken off guard. This moment had come faster than he’d anticipated.

“I understand if you say no,” she whispered, unusually coy. “If you don’t want to, it’s fine. I just thought I’d offer. I don’t know if it’s wrong or right after what you’ve endured, but it’s the least I can do.”

“No, I appreciate it. And I... accept.” Souji stammered. “I’ve missed you, Sayoko-san.”

“I’ve missed you too, Souji-kun,” she said, a small smile on her face as he stood up. Barely a second passed before she leaned in and kissed him. It was so gentle compared to what he had just experienced earlier in the evening, but still charged with a particular energy. Her expertise caught him off guard – even though they had kissed before, he had forgotten how _good_ she was. She was soft and precise, so different from Adachi. His kisses were rough sloppy, almost hungry. Souji could tell Sayoko was actually being careful with him, treating him like something fragile.

Souji supposed with all the damage done to his body, a bit of care was probably a good thing. Her hands wrapped lightly around his lower back, pressing them together.

“Have you been bad while you were away?” she breathed against his ear, looking up at him with lowered lids.

“Maybe,” Souji murmured, pulling her hips to meet his. She rolled against him, just once, but the friction was too much. He inhaled sharply at the contact.

Sayoko chuckled throatily. “As I suspected. You’re too cute. “

She took one of his hands and placed it on her breast. Souji’s head spun as he felt her, trying desperately to keep his mind on the plan. This wasn’t real, there was a purpose to this, he had to "teach her a lesson." Then she bit lightly at his lip, running her tongue over it, and his thoughts derailed again.

His lack of reaction seemed to cause her to pull back, making eye contact with him. “I won’t hurt you, Souji-kun. You know that, don’t you?”

Souji nodded, breathless, and sprang into action. He needed to be convincing, put on a good show. He sought her lips again, flicking her nipple through the fabric with his thumb. She grinned through the kiss and then pulled away again to leave soft kisses on his bruised neck until she reached his ear.

“I want to help you forget,” she whispered.

He shuddered. He couldn’t forget what had happened. What _would_ happen. She’d never be able to do that for him, no matter how hard she tried.

Sayoko kneeled slowly, looking up at him for consent as her hand hovered over the straining fabric of his pants.

“It’s okay,” Souji said through heavy breaths. She unzipped his pants agonizingly slow and pulled out Souji’s dick. He bit his bottom lip hard when she pressed her tongue against the tip.

“We can stop any time,” she told him, pulling back a little.

“Please don’t,” Souji whispered, his voice trailing into a soft moan as she licked down his shaft in response. He tentatively placed his hands in her hair, gripping it tighter after a look from her.

She took him in her mouth then, and began to move. Up and down, up and down, twisting her hands around the base as she did. Her mouth was positioned in a way that made it even tighter than he thought was possible, she was so damn _good._ Her tongue flicked against the base each time she sucked, and he saw stars. Souji had to keep one hand plastered across his mouth so the entire hospital wouldn’t hear what they were doing.

He saw the door to the exam room open slightly in his haze, and he met Adachi’s piercing stare. Souji tried and failed to tactfully look away, his composure gone. He was so close, _too_ close to think anymore. Adachi licked his lips, mouthing four words across the room at Souji.

_Don’t forget, you’re mine._

One particularly tight suck from Sayoko accompanied by those words and he came, his eyes never leaving Adachi’s as he filled Sayoko’s mouth, his teeth gritting together to muffle his own sounds.

She pulled back, licked her lips, and smiled warmly up at him. “Feeling better, champ?"

  
“Y… yeah,” Souji replied weakly, re-doing his pants as she stood up, dusting off her knees. 

“Sayoko Uehara. Or should I call you ‘Nurse Slut’ instead? Since, y’know, that’s what you are,” Adachi said, breaking the silence.

It was happening. Souji froze as Adachi stepped fully into the room, shutting the door behind himself.

Sayoko cocked her head, a sneer on her face. “So, you saw. Well, I’ve been doing this for a while, Detective. I’m not an idiot. The cameras in this room are off. You have no proof. And Souji-kun certainly won’t tell, will you?”

Souji shook his head, and Adachi’s grin widened. “Oh, I’m not talking about just this. I’m talking about how you used innocent men to climb the ladder at work and steal their money. How you’ve been working the hospital system for years with your little sex-capades. You’re a menace to society.”

The color drained from Sayoko’s face. She took a step back. “That’s not true.”

“You know as well as I do that it is. But don’t worry - I’m here to offer you a deal.”

Souji could only watch as Adachi pulled his gun from its holster, slowly training it on her head as she stared at him with wide eyes. He felt numb, he couldn’t look away.

“After that little _display_ , I’m feeling all hot and bothered. If you let me fuck you right now, I won’t kill you,” Adachi said.

She crossed her arms and spat on the ground. “I’d rather _die_ than let you touch me.”

Adachi shook his head, a sympathetic look on his face. “Ah, Sayoko-san. I figured you’d say that. So, I came up with a backup plan.”

He shifted his arm until the gun was pointed at Souji. Adachi’s words from earlier were starting to make sense now, but even they couldn’t quell the instinctive terror ripping through his body.

“If you don’t fuck me, I kill you _and_ Seta.”

Sayoko stepped in front of Souji, venom in her eyes as she barred the path of the gun.

“Don’t worry,” She kept her face angled toward Adachi as she whispered to him, though her voice was shaking now. “I won’t let you get hurt any more than you already have.”

She swallowed, and spoke to Adachi now. “Fine. I’ll do what you want. Just don’t hurt him.”

“Excellent!” Adachi looked at Souji, then flicked his eyes to the TV in the back of the room. He heard him loud and clear. _Turn the TV on._

Keeping the gun pointed at her, he used his free hand to gesture at the examination table. “Get up here.”

\-------------------------

“Is there something you need, sir? Has the doctor seen you yet?” the secretary asked when they returned to the waiting room.

“Nurse Uehara left to grab something and didn’t come back. It’s been over an hour, and Seta-kun needs to get home. We’ll come back later,” Adachi said to her, supporting a white-faced Souji on his right side.

“Strange… Uehara-san is usually quite organized. I’m sorry for your inconvenience, would you like me to call—“

“No, no, it’s fine! We just really need to get home – I mean, _I_ really need to get Souji-kun home. Thanks for trying!”

They shuffled through the lobby and managed to get outside and around the corner before Souji collapsed. He threw up, hands clawing at the ground as his entire body retched. Tears streamed down his cheeks and dripped from his nose, mixing with the vomit on his chin as he stared at the ground. His mouth was open, but he couldn’t produce a scream.

Beside him, Adachi doubled over and laughed harder than Souji had ever seen before. The sounds echoed down the pavement covered street until they were sucked into the rainy night

_Did you see the look on her face?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was so painful i'm sorry
> 
> thanks to Ao3 user pennysparkle for beta reading this chapter :') 
> 
> I know it's been a while since my last update, I rlly appreciate those of you who have stuck around this long! There's going to be a lot of smut next chapter...


	5. Saturday Afternoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit UM. that was a wait! enjoy the chap you beautiful people. lots of pain.

Muted daylight filled the room with gray. Souji shifted, squinting his eyes against the light and burrowing his face into the pillow. It smelled nice, familiar somehow. His gut clenched when he realized where he was, and he pushed himself up slowly.

He’d just woken up in Adachi’s bed.

“Morning, princess. Sleep well?” Adachi’s head poked around the doorframe, an impish grin on his face.

Souji turned to look at the digital clock on the cheaply made bedside table. _1:56_ , it proclaimed in blinking red lines. He paled.

“What… happened last night?”

“You were pretty upset after we finished the job at the hospital. I thought I’d let you get some sleep when we got home… looks like you needed a lot!” He said, sitting down on the bed.

“Shit.” Souji whispered as he collapsed back into the covers. Fragmented images from the previous night flashed through his mind, and the more he tried to will them away the more vivid they became. Cold guilt gripped his insides, and he screwed up his face, covering his eyes with a forearm. His breaths drew quicker, shorter. 

“I checked out the news the morning, She’s been proclaimed a missing person,“ Adachi said, ignoring his reaction and turning to look out the window. “And look at all this rain! It looks like we won’t have to wait very long for results this time.”

Souji suppressed his frantic breaths, white as a sheet. He was now a direct accomplice in murder. He could go to jail, or worse. It was pouring rain for the second day in a row – her body would be flung out of the TV world in just one more day. He’d have to leave Inaba and never come back. He’d have to run.

Adachi rumpled Souji’s hair, a bizarre semblance of affection, as if reading his mind. “Don’t look so worried, there’s no possible way for them to find out we did it. Everything checked out at the hospital, we’ve got nothing to worry about. We’re free men, ridding the world of sluts one step at a time!”

Souji bit his lip, choosing his words carefully. “Do you really think these women are worth killing?” Met with a blank stare, he propped himself up with shaking elbows, cleared his throat and continued. “Is being _easy_ a death sentence?”

“Absolutely. They’re ruining lives. See how quick she was to go down on you, how quickly she fucked me to protect you? What if she’d gotten us sick or,” Adachi’s face contorted with disgust, “made us _care_ about her?” 

Souji felt his heart thumping, his mind scrambling. He still didn’t understand why it had to be done, why they’d had to _kill…_ what had happened to Adachi to make him think this way? Nothing he said was making any sense.

“Anyway, what a nasty bitch. She got exactly what she deserved. And it’s all thanks to you,” Adachi said, placing a hand on Souji’s shoulder. “The only one I can trust.” 

Any gesture that might have seemed comforting from someone else felt malicious when Adachi did it. Yet, Souji rolled onto his side, facing him, feeling warmth flood his face at the other man’s words.

He had willingly killed another person. He couldn’t call himself human anymore. Whatever the rationale was, it didn’t matter. The deed was done, and he needed to make a decision. He felt the deep disgust for his actions mixing with a sick pleasure at Adachi confiding in him. 

Souji caught another flash of the previous night, saw himself holding Sayoko Uehara’s feet as Adachi pushed her into the TV, and had to suppress a retch. He wondered whether Adachi’s trust was worth this.

“You’re seriously… thanking me? For all this?” he managed, looking up at Adachi through his fringe.

“Of course! You did so good for your first time. Me, I was pretty freaked out afterwards. But, you know - there’s no real way to prepare yourself for it. Just gotta take the plunge." 

Souji knew that what he had done was irrevocably, catastrophically wrong. He knew that no justification Adachi could give him would help. Every inch of him screamed in protest of his acquiescence– _Tell him he’s wrong! Tell him killing without cause is inhuman! Tell him he’s disgusting!_

But when he saw the way Adachi was looking at him, the words died in his throat. He knew that no matter the circumstances that had led him here, or what he could do in the future, _nothing_ compared to the way he felt when Adachi looked at him. Like he could do anything, like he was _needed._ Souji wasn’t expected to be anything other than who he was, stripped down for this man to see. There was a sick liberation in this that made his insides flutter.

Inaba gave Souji another family, a real one who cared about him. Nanako, Dojima, the Investigation team, everyone had been counting on him. And he let them down. For someone like Adachi. Souji was everyone’s golden boy, but in the end he had found the one person who needed him more than any of them. With Adachi, he wasn’t just a friend or a family member. He was a partner. The “only one he could trust.” Forever.

There was nothing else to consider. Souji knew, now that he’d thought about it, that this was the one thing he couldn’t give up. Selfishness wasn’t in his nature, and it had cost him. The lost years of pining after people, of feeling used, bubbled to the surface.

“I’ll probably be a little more comfortable next time.” Souji said, finally, pushing himself up again. It was a slow, controlled movement. The words filled the air like smoke, choking Souji with their implication.

Adachi raised his eyebrows, let out a low whistle. 

“Next time, huh? I knew you had it in you, kid,” He muttered, looking at Souji with a mixture of fondness and curiosity. “Come with me downstairs, it’s time for us to have our own little celebration party.”

“We can’t celebrate, I haven’t even had breakfast yet,” Souji protested, realizing his reasoning was absurd after all that had happened this weekend already. His appetite was nonexistent anyway.

“Fair enough” Adachi replied. He reached out a hand. “C’mon, get up. I’ll set you up with something.”

“Alright,” Souji said, and he pushed himself fully upright on the bed. He winced at the slight head rush.

“You know, you were tossing and turning a lot last night, I almost left to sleep downstairs,” Adachi joked.

“But you didn’t,” Souji said, reaching out to take his hand. It felt cold, but soft. As if he hadn’t really been through as many terrible experiences as he’d have you believe. They felt like sheltered hands.

“True, true,” Adachi said, pulling him up. “C’mon.”

They walked out of the room together, Souji’s legs quivering with leftover adrenaline.

Adachi trailed behind him several steps as they descended the staircase. He was watching Souji carefully, as if observing a dog he’d just adopted from the pound to make sure it was staying well behaved. They reached the living room, and Souji saw a few grocery bags that had been tossed carelessly onto the tiny kitchen counter, sprawled into strange shapes. A rectangular store-wrapped present glowed against the white counters, red wrapping and a black bow.

“Is this for me?” Souji asked, unable to help the small smile on his lips as he picked up the package. The shape was a dead giveaway. It was a book.

Adachi looked away with a childish pout. “Well. You were always reading whenever I came over for dinner at Dojima-san’s. I saw there was a new one out of that series you liked, thought you might want it.”

Souji didn’t know if he was more taken aback at the kind gesture, or the realization that Adachi had paid attention to him for longer than he’d realized. 

“Thank you, Adachi,” he murmured, and he picked it up with care, holding it with loose fingertips as if it might break.

“Don’t mention it, kid.” Adachi said, and he turned toward the door, adjusting his jacket. He had tugged on one loafer before Souji looked up from the present with the frown.

“You’re leaving?” He asked.

“Yeah, I want to run by the office to make sure our tracks are fully covered,” Adachi said with an apologetic smile. “Help yourself to whatever, don’t worry about me, just be sure to rest up – and don’t even think about going out, cause I’ll know!”

Souji raised his eyebrows at the implied threat, but said nothing. Adachi nodded, once, then opened the door into the stormy day.

A wave of exhaustion swept over Souji as Adachi left. Tension, uncertainty, the magnitude of what had happened left him winded. He took the package over to the couch and slumped onto it.

The book, inviting at first, felt empty. All the words in the world couldn’t distract him now, couldn’t placate him.

Perhaps it wasn’t too early to celebrate, he mused as he eyed the refrigerator. Maybe he could try one drink, to prepare for when Adachi came back. He could enjoy it _along with_ this book. It might help.

\---------

“Hey, kiddos!” Adachi spouted cheerfully, waving at the group of teenagers walking the opposite direction from him. They stopped, a mass of colorful umbrellas and suspicious looks.

“Good afternoon, Adachi-san,” Yukiko said, the polite smile on her face failing to mask her concern. “Actually, it’s good that we ran into you.”

“Yeah?” He fiddled with his tie, faking a look toward his watch, “I’m afraid I can’t talk for too long, I need to stop by the office for some important business on a new case.”

“We actually had a question for you,” said Chie.

“Straight to the point, eh?” Adachi smiled at them, willing the vein in his eye not to throb. “What can I help you with?”

“Yosuke thinks he saw Souji coming into town,” Kanji said, sizing Adachi up. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would ya?”

“Yosuke-kun saw _Souji-kun_? Seriously?” Adachi responded, adding a appropriate raise of his eyebrows. “Where did you see him?” 

Yosuke looked flustered upon his inclusion in the story. “Around the train station. He got into someone’s car. W-well, he just looked a lot like him! Silver hair, bowl cut, I mean, you know what he looks like!” His words tumbled out over themselves, and he clamped a hand over his mouth to physically stop the flow.

Adachi patted Yosuke’s shoulder sympathetically. “Calm down, kid,” he said. “I guess silver is a pretty rare hair color on people your age, but come on. Souji-kun’s been in the city for months now, and it’s not like this is a holiday. No reason for him to come here.”

“I guess Adachi-san is right,” Rise said, her shoulders falling. “We shouldn’t have gotten our hopes up.”

“Things have seemed quite bleak around here these days,” Naoto added. “We were all... hoping, I suppose.”

“Dojima-san misses him too, I hear about him at the office quite a bit.” Adachi said, giving the group another mournful, empathetic look. “But I really do have to get going.”

Adachi gave the group a little wave, cutting them off before they could ask any more questions, and pushed past them. He kept his eyes to the street, yanking the hood of his yellow raincoat down to combat the driving rain. The investigation team did not follow.

“Alright, Adachi, just one quick check though the files and you can relax,” he muttered as he rounded the corner to the office, smile in place.

\------------

The whole excursion hadn’t taken too long, but it was already nearly dark when Adachi returned to his apartment. He unlocked the door and stepped inside, hanging his dripping raincoat on the door.

“Hey, Souji! I’m back, and we’re in the clear,” He called, his voice singsong as he stepped into the living room. He froze upon spying Souji sitting on the couch, reading the book, three empty cans of beer beside him. 

“Hmm, that’s no good. You started without me!”

“Mmm. Sorry, Adachi,” Souji said quietly, a small smile on his lips. “I was a little stressed out. It did help.”

“Glad to hear it.” Adachi sauntered to the kitchen, pulling out several more cans from the refrigerator, along with two cups of instant ramen.

“You really shouldn’t drink on an empty stomach, but I’m sure you’ll learn that the hard way eventually. Eh, fuck it, take another one,” he tossed a beer to Souji, who managed to catch it after an initial fumble. “Start on that, and I’ll make these for us. Why don’t you find something interesting on TV?” 

Souji grinned stupidly at his words, thinking about how the TV was a bit more than simple entertainment for the two of them. He turned it on, flipping to a mindless game show, and cracked open the beer can. The can popped with a satisfying fizzing noise. Souji felt so warm, even as he took a large gulp from the iced beverage.

He felt loose, good, like his worries from the morning were from another time and place. Right now, Adachi was making him dinner, and they were going to drink together, and that was all that mattered.

“Right, here you go partner _,”_ Adachi said, sitting next to him on the couch and placing their noodles on the small table in front of them.

Souji realized how much more natural it felt for him to use that word, now. Like Yosuke had been the imposter all along.

Adachi cracked open the drink, bringing it to his lips and taking long, dragging gulps. His eyes closed, almost in rapture. Souji watched, transfixed as Adachi’s throat moved up and down, the can tilting farther and farther up, until he realized he had finished the beer.

“You’ll get better at it,” Adachi said, chuckling at Souji’s stunned expression. “You should see the look on your face!”

“I’ll try,” he replied, trailing off. He touched his face absently, noting the reduced sensation. Numbness. It felt appropriate, and he found himself tracing his own cheekbones and lips, feeling the strange tingling.

“So, how do you feel?” Adachi said. It was if he could read his mind sometimes. “Three in a row is a lot when you’re first starting out.” 

“Face feels a bit numb. I feel... warm, but good," Souji attempted, the words sticking in his mouth like honey. It was harder to speak like this, too, but he didn't want to seem incoherent around Adachi.

“Hey, why don’t you try what I just did? Here, I’ll help.” Adachi shuffled sideways toward him and gripped Souji’s hand holding the can. He moved it up to Souji’s mouth, tipping the can up. Startled, some of the liquid spilled down Souji’s front before he could start drinking it properly. The sheer force of the beer pouring too fast burned his throat, and he groaned as he drank. Was Adachi going to make him drink the whole thing?

“Keep going, I believe in you,” Adachi said, sloping the can to an almost vertical position. He watched Souji drinking with thinly veiled hunger, his gaze roving over his squinted, teary grey eyes, the bruised neck accommodating the liquid.

Souji felt like he was drowning. He gulped, endlessly, until finally the can was empty.

“See, that wasn’t so hard!” Adachi tossed the can cheerfully toward the garbage can. It bounced off, landing on the ground, and Souji hiccupped when he tried to laugh at the sight.

“Not so bad,” he agreed, and they settled back against the couch as if nothing had happened. Adachi bent down to slurp up some of the noodles, and Souji was reminded again that he’d only consumed alcohol today. He should eat something.

They sat in silence for a bit, eating. Adachi seemed to be genuinely watching the lame show he’d put on, but Souji’s head swam too much for him to pay attention. It seemed to be some sort of word guessing game, hosted by a pretty young woman who couldn’t be much older than him. His eyes glazed over, thinking of the marks covering his body, how fucked up he felt. How a part of him felt at peace with it.

Adachi consumed the beers at a much faster pace than he did. Within a half hour, he’d been overtaken, and Souji sensed Adachi’s ease as he sank into the couch. He was chuckling at something the woman had said. 

Souji felt an unbearable heat building inside him. He wanted to be closer to Adachi. He didn’t care about anything outside of the room anymore, didn’t care about the stupid reality show. Adachi’s eyes were roaming the body of a scantily clad girl showing off one of the prizes. Why were there so many pretty girls on this show? He needed to distract Adachi, to make him think only of _him._ He wanted him to understand how he felt, even if he wasn’t sure of that himself.

He grabbed the collar of Adachi’s shirt, registering the shock on his face before pulling him sideways on the couch toward him. They sat, flush together, side by side, Adachi’s face pulled close to Souji’s.

“You-“ Adachi started, but before he could finish his sentence, Souji kissed him hard. Adachi gasped and Souji breathed him in. Pushing his tongue inside and meeting no resistance, he took Adachi’s lip between his teeth and bit. Adachi groaned, a hand squeezing warningly on Souji’s thigh. 

“Looks like you’ve had a bit _too_ much, huh?” Adachi said quietly, pulling away from the kiss. “That wasn’t very smart.” His breaths were shallow and fast, cheeks pink from the alcohol, but Souji knew _he_ probably looked even worse.

“You’re right, Adachi...’m sorry,” Souji slurred, attempting to move backwards. Adachi probably didn’t feel the same way about him, after everything that had happened. What they had done was all an act for the crime. The kissing, the touching, all a setup for the finale. Maybe Adachi would let him off easy, forget he had done this – but the other man wrapped an arm around his waist, stopping him mid-scoot.

 “No, it’s okay! You’re just not used to it. Alcohol does a lot of fun things to your body.”

Adachi grazed his nose against Souji’s neck, their chests nearly touching. Souji froze. It was their first contact like this since the day before, an eternity away. He was acutely aware of how heavy his limbs felt and how much Adachi’s breath against his neck was affecting him.

“Like what?” he asked, embarrassed at how breathless his voice sounded. He hadn’t realized how much he wanted this, how much he wanted Adachi, the drink swimming in his head. In this moment, he felt as if he wouldn’t survive without him. He needed to be closer.

“Well, it makes you warm, like you said. It also makes you able to say and do what you want to say without worrying,” he explained, moving back and dragging a finger pointedly across Souji’s lips. He shivered at the contact, his thoughts muddled at Adachi’s words.

Had he really wanted this all along?

“And,” Adachi continued, moving one hand from Souji’s thigh to toy with the buttons at the bottom of his shirt, “It makes you more _relaxed.”_

“Relaxed, huh?” Souji asked, dreamlike. He exhaled slowly. The cop had twisted on the couch toward him, his lithe hands moving to unbutton Souji’s shirt now and god, he couldn’t bring himself to stop him.

“Mmhm,” Adachi hummed, continuing to loosen the buttons. Souji grabbed his arm, and he stopped.

“Do you... _really_ want this? Me?” Souji asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeesh kid, and I thought you were blunt before. Good thing you’re nice to look at," Adachi muttered. He wound a hand though Souji's hair and tugged, pressing their faces close and their lips together. It was slow, perhaps meant to be assuring, but Souji couldn't tell if he was being genuine or trying to lure him into a false sense of security. He couldn't think about it right now, and he pulled back, peering at Adachi accusingly.

“You didn’t answer the question. Do you?”

“You’re a real brat, Souji," Adachi growled. Souji raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I do,” he said finally, pushing Souji against the back of the couch and straddling him. "Are we done asking questions now?"

"Yes," Souji said, his face burning with the implication. "No more questions."

He saw the room spinning, and the only thing keeping him down was the man on top of him.

He let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO!! so I can't believe anyone is still reading this fic got even after all this time, honestly I'm floored. 
> 
> I've gotten quite a few nice comments on my fanfic blog, which I've shut down, but I'm now [here](http://maeihas.tumblr.com) so shoot me any questions or comments there :)
> 
> I didn't have a beta this time, hopefully it turned out ok! I tried to fit this entire day (Saturday) in one chap but it got too long, so I've broken it up. we've got saturday night, and sunday morning left! thanks for staying with me everyone, honestly, im sorry for the wait and i hope if you're still interested you enjoy the end of this story!!


	6. Saturday Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ENTIRE chap is drunk smut, so if you interpret drunk sex as inherently noncon then please be aware that this IS that, and if it makes you uncomfortable please skip it!  
> also, tw guns and blood

Souji’s body, pliant from the influence of cheap beer, sank under Adachi’s weight. He sat propped against the couch, the picture of obedience, and watched Adachi finish unbuttoning his shirt in a dreamlike stupor. His perpetually askew tie draped down and tickled Souji’s torso as he slid the shirt off of him.

Everything in the room spun, edged with blurs except the weight against his lap. The way Adachi’s body felt, solid, heavy against his own, twisting as he hurried to get out of his work jacket.

“Is this really what you wanted?” Adachi murmured, propping himself up against the couch which one hand and ghosting his other around Souji’s neck. This wasn’t the type of touch he was accustomed to from Adachi. It was too delicate. It felt dangerous. All he could think about was the inevitable squeeze of the hand. 

Souji fought through the fog in his mind. How the hell had he gotten himself here? He was struck by a trick Naoto had mentioned at one of their many meetings - _Quantifying a situation can help it make sense._ Thinking of it now made him feel like he’d been hollowed out. But it couldn’t hurt to try.

Okay, he was missing his shirt. Adachi, his coat. They’d kissed too many times to count, now. They’d touched each other – to completion. They’d committed a horrible crime together. Was this enough of a buildup? Was he being too “easy,” exactly what Adachi hated most?

As if to answer his question, Adachi leaned into him, their faces nearly touching again. His hands found Souji’s shoulders and squeezed, hard.

“You didn’t answer,” he said with a scowl. “You always think too much...” he moved his head down slow, dragging his tongue against the small scabbed-over nail marks under Souji’s ear from the previous day. Souji shivered at the sting.

“See, it doesn’t hurt as badly now, does it?” He mused. Souji keened at the breath on his tender neck, the prodding tongue. It _did_ hurt a bit more when he pressed like that, but the alcohol dimmed it to a pleasant thrum.

“No,” he breathed, trailing off as Adachi’s lips trailed lower, across the map of bruises. “It does sting but –ah- not a _bad_ sting...”

“Good, good,” Adachi replied, distracted. His mouth paused against Souji’s jugular vein. 

Souji held his breath. He didn’t want to risk doing something to make Adachi stop, and all he could feel was an overpowering desire for him to _bite down._

“Are you sad about these marks? I’m sorry we had to do this,” Adachi said, quiet, but he seemed so pleased with himself that Souji didn’t think he sounded sorry at all. 

“No,” he answered. And then, “I like them,” tumbled out before he could stop it. 

“Yeah? Of course you do,” Adachi jeered, and before Souji could reply again he felt teeth sink into him. Souji cried out, his tortured neck searing with pain, sending heat straight to his dick. He was _embarrassingly_ hard.

After a moment Adachi drew back, his right hand shooting out and pinning Souji to the back of the couch by his neck. Souji bucked up at that, eyes half-closed in rapture.

Adachi’s hooded grey eyes surveyed Souji with deadly intensity, dragging across the maps of bruises, the marks he’d left him. His gaze fell to the mirrored bulges pressing between them, then back up to Souji’s face. Souji knew his cheeks must be red, he felt the burning of blood rushing to them. He was weak, even a bit scared, but he’d never been more turned on in his entire life.

He would probably let Adachi eat him alive, if he asked. 

“P-please...” Souji asked, not even thinking about what exactly he was pleading for. All he cared about was relief.

Adachi answered with a sneer, the palm of his hand pressing in hard to cut off Souji’s airway. He bit his lip, releasing a choked groan as he reached toward Adachi. His hands skated up his back, feeling the bones jutting out, pulling him closer.

Wait, when had Adachi’s shirt come off? Had he done that? He couldn’t remember, but Adachi squeezed and kissed him again and he didn’t care anymore.

He clung to Adachi’s sinewy wrists as he choked him with them, breaths coming shorter and faster as he bucked upward helplessly. Adachi chuckled, keeping his own hips just far enough away so that Souji couldn’t reach them. 

“Shit, I can’t believe how worked up you are already. I bet you’d die without my dick, huh?" 

Souji tried to glare at him. He knew he probably looked awful already, sweating and panting, but somehow it didn’t matter. He couldn’t let this stop.

“I’ve...” he trailed off, lost for breath, rutting into the empty air again in vain, trying to release the straining pressure.

“Yeah?” Adachi stared at him, releasing his neck. “You’ve what?”

“...Been thinking about you all day, Adachi,” He forced out, taking gulps of air between each word. “I couldn’t concentrate on anything else.”

“How so?” Adachi raised his eyebrows, and Souji noticed just how wide his pupils were.

“I don’t like it when you leave, or when look at anyone that isn’t me,” Souji forced out, every word scalding him. “I need you to _fuck me_ , Adachi. I want to do something right for once.”

“Hey, you’ve already helped me out a bunch this weekend, Souji. You’ve already done something right. Isn’t that enough?” Adachi said, almost teasing. But Souji knew then that he wouldn’t resist for much longer. Even through his silky, tailored words, his voice strained. The short bangs mussed around his face, his smile tight and venomous – he looked almost beautiful like this.

Censoring himself felt both meaningless and impossible with the beer loosening his tongue, but even Souji didn’t fully understand what he was saying anymore.

“Use me,” Souji begged. “Please. Don’t make me ask again.”

There was a long silence. He felt impossibly stupid as the seconds wore on, Adachi’s expression inscrutable. Then -

“Jeez, how can I say no to that? This isn’t fair,” Adachi said. He exhaled, a ragged sound, and slid off Souji and onto the couch.

Souji blinked, felt himself being shifted, and now he was the one on Adachi’s lap. With his long torso, he nearly towered over Adachi in this position. But Adachi’s mischievous smirk and confident hands did wonders at making him feel small.

“I wanted to wait until a little later tonight, you know. I had all this stuff planned,” Adachi continued, one hand digging into Souji’s thigh and the other twining itself in his hair. He leaned into the touch, electrified.

“But you couldn’t wait, could you? You little slut,” he growled, yanking Souji’s hair back.

“Ah!” Souji gasped with a grimace. Every strand that pulled taut pricked him with pleasure, alcohol numbing his skin to the discomfort. He smiled, looking down at Adachi as if daring him to continue.

Adachi grinded his hips upward, and Souji let out a moan at the sudden stimulation against the bulge in his pants.

“W-wait,” Souji breathed, already coiled too tight from their close proximity. “I want to make you feel good too.”

Souji bore down onto him. He grabbed at Adachi’s hips, using the new angle to kiss his neck and down his chest, relishing the hitches in Adachi’s breath. He pressed himself against the other man, his moans escaping freely, but even this wasn’t close enough.

“What’s gotten into you? We should drink more often, you’re disgusting like this,” Adachi jeered, pulling Souji’s head back by the hair, ripping another cry from his throat. “I bet you’d do anything I wanted right now.”

Souji nodded as best he could, and Adachi released him. 

“Okay, prove it,” he said, shoving him off his lap. Souji landed on the ground with an unceremonious thump.

“How?” Souji asked, tilting his head. Adachi spread his legs apart, licking his lips. He slowly unzipped his pants, removing his cock. It was heavy with hardness already, and Souji watched transfixed as he gave it a few idle tugs.

“Suck me, Souji. Let’s see how much you can take.”

Souji scooted forward and settled himself on his knees, feeling his center of balance teeter dangerously. The carpet was thin and uncomfortable against his knees - he grabbed Adachi’s calf to stabilize himself.

Souji still couldn’t believe Adachi was like _this_ because of _him._

Adachi grabbed him by the hair again, maneuvering him closer.

“Don’t keep me waiting,” he warned, like Souji needed the reminder.

He’d never actually given head before, only seen it performed on himself - but he knew what felt good for him would probably feel good for Adachi, too, so he decided to let himself experiment.

Souji ran his tongue from the bottom up, then licked the tip experimentally. He paused, lips parted, and looked up at Adachi.

His hand was clamped over his mouth, eyebrows furrowed. Short breaths puffed between his fingers.

“Take your hand off, Adachi. I want to hear you,” Souji said, closing his lips with a smile. He waited like that, sitting back on his knees, lips purposefully sealed, until Adachi complied. He moved his hand away from his mouth to the couch, clenching the fabric of it. 

“Fine, you little shit,” he spat, sucking in a breath as Souji abruptly took half of his cock into his mouth. He moved down Adachi’s cock, humming, dragging his tongue across the base of it in zigzags as he went. It felt hotter than he expected, warm in his mouth, his spit slicking up the length as he went.

“Fuck, kid,” Adachi muttered. Souji continued to bob steadily, and when he brought a hand up to cup his balls it sent him arching up, his hands balled into white knuckled fists.

“Didn’t realize you’d be this – _good,”_ and the last word came out half choked as Souji took nearly the entire thing at once, locking eyes with Adachi as he did. 

Souji’s face burned with satisfaction, his own cock twitching and aching inside his pants. He wanted Adachi to lose control, and he knew he had almost pushed him there, just a little more -

 Then a hand fisted hard in his hair.

“God, you look _lewd_ like this, Souji. Like you were born to have my dick in your mouth,” Adachi said, the bite in his words startling Souji from his lazy pace.

There it was.

 “You really want me to use you? Alright, _partner,_ request granted. _”_ Adachi smirked, and he pressed Souji’s face _down_. His cock pressed in farther than Souji had taken it before, he squeezed it past the ring of his throat. Tears welled up in Souji’s eyes, but it wasn’t as painful as he thought it might be. He willed himself to relax, tried to get his throat to accommodate the intrusion.

“That’s right, open up for me,” Adachi coaxed, pulling him off a bit and then shoving him down again.

Wet noises filled the room as he pushed himself into Souji’s mouth again and again. Souji’s lungs burned, and he caught breaths as best as he could through his nose. Adachi fucked into him at a ruthless pace, breaths running ragged, and Souji could have sworn he might be laughing under his breath.

Souji attempted to unzip his pants to relieve himself, but he couldn’t get his hands to do what he wanted them to. They kept fumbling, missing the zipper, jolting with each thrust to his throat. He satisfied himself by watching Adachi’s face through his tears, loose and needy and starving, which didn’t help his problem.

After a few more moments, Adachi stopped, pulling himself out. Saliva coated Souji’s lips and chin, stringing from the head of Adachi’s cock. He heaved, gulping down as much air as he could. Adachi’s mouth was slack, his lip nearly bruised from biting it.

“Was it that good?” Souji grinned, and Adachi scoffed.

“Get up,” he demanded. Souji scambled to his feet and moved to straddle him again, but he held up a hand. “No, pants off.”

Souji removed his pants, throwing them on the ground next to his shirt. His heart was beating too fast and hard, spurred by the alcohol and his effect on Adachi. But he’d stood up too quickly, and the blood struggled to make it to his head. He wobbled, dizzy, as he watched Adachi take off his pants too.

A sudden bruising kiss knocked the wind out of Souji, crowding him toward the wall.

“Upstairs,” Adachi said, breathless.

Souji managed to take the steps two at a time, Adachi visibly wobbling a little as he followed him up.

It hadn’t been long since he’d last been in Adachi’s bedroom, but this was a far cry from the panic he’d been in this morning. Adachi ripped his boxers off impatiently, and he pushed Souji onto the bed.

Had he taken his own boxers off?

Adachi’s bare skin slid fluidly against his own, pressing him down into the mattress so hard he though he might drown.

His skin was hot, and they’d both worked up a sheen of sweat. Their bodies stuck, then slid, a tangle of arms and legs as if each were trying to consume the other. Adachi grinded his length against Souji’s, a vicious grin on his face as Souji released an agonized cry at the sudden stimulation.

“Aw, you want something from me, huh? Want me to make you feel good now?” Adachi said, low and hot. “Hold on a sec.”

He rolled to the side and rustled around in the bedside table, finally pulling out a bottle of lube. Souji admired Adachi’s lean body, the way he fit together in a mess of angles. His ass seemed softer than the rest of him – though not by much. Souji realized this was the first time he’d seen Adachi fully unclothed.

Adachi moved back over to him, nudging his legs apart.

“Don’t worry, Souji, I’m gonna take _good care_ of you,” he said, slicking up two of his fingers in a rush. Souji gulped, his fuzzy head reeling with implications but unable to process them. He suddenly felt unsure, a spike of adrenaline hitting him. Would he really be able to do this?

“Here we go,” Adachi hummed, and before Souji could protest he pressed both fingers against Souji’s entrance. Souji exhaled sharply, jolting as Adachi slid them into his ass all at once. He moved them slowly, and Souji relaxed, even found himself enjoying it. Adachi’s other hand was on Souji’s dick, stroking lazily as his fingers scissored him open.

“Does it feel good?” Adachi asked. Souji nodded, taking deep breaths.

“Good. Wouldn’t want you wimping out once we really start.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you,” Souji said, and he brought a hand up to cup Adachi’s cheek without thinking. Adachi slapped it away, his smile giving way to an annoyed frown.

“Why do you have to say shit like that all the time? Like you care about me? God, you make me sick,” Adachi rasped, and he forced another finger into Souji’s ass. He winced at the sharp pressure.

“Wait, Adachi, slow –“

“You helped me kill someone,” he thrust his fingers in hard, “watched me _fuck_ her,” he spread them apart, filling Souji’s eyes with tears, “and you still want my dick? Why couldn’t you just mind your own goddamn business, why’d you have to make me _like_ you,” Adachi gritted out, pounding his fingers into him at a cruel pace.

Souji tried to respond but found his breath was gone, save for the occasional broken moan, and even though Adachi’s words hurt, they had him pushing his hips up to meet the hand as it spread him. He knew he deserved the hatred, the anger. He helped Adachi kill someone. This was his reward.

Wait, had Adachi said he _liked him?_

“Souji Seta, hero of Inaba, an accomplice in murder. The irony kills me,” Adachi laughed, almost hysterical, continuing to fuck him with his fingers. Souji met his pace, watching him, his mouth parted and panting.

“Damn, even when I’m trying to be mean, you’re acting like this,” Adachi said, yielding and pulling his fingers out fully.

“Did you say you like me?” Souji asked quietly, and Adachi flushed at that.

“Shut up, brat,”

Souji closed his mouth. Adachi ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head as if to clear it.

“Anyway, I think you’re ready now, but I’m going to make you work for it a little. If you can handle this next part, _maybe_ I’ll fuck you”

Souji’s eyes fluttered, his chest rising and falling. He had nothing left to lose at this point.

“What’d you have in mind?” 

Adachi retreated again to the bedside table, moving back to Souji much quicker this time. His hand was behind his back. 

“Let’s play a game,” He said, leaving a dramatic pause before holding the object out in front of him.

Souji caught his breath.

It was a gun.

“Adachi, I –“

“You trust me, don’t you Souji? I’d never do anything to hurt you,” He said, pressing a finger to his lips to shush him. Souji swallowed his next words and nodded.

“Now, I _really_ wanna fuck you with this. Only problem is, I can’t decide where!” He flung a hand backward over his face, masking his sinister grin.

Souji examined the gun, sizing it up. It seemed to be a bit smaller than Adachi’s dick, so he knew he could fit it in his mouth. That would be the safest option. But...

“It’s not loaded, is it?” He asked. 

Adachi’s mouth dropped open. “What? Of course not! At least,” he added, “I’m pretty sure it isn’t.”

Souji’s veins ran cold at that, but he couldn’t help the fact that he was a little curious about it. A little excited by it.

What had happened to him?

“My mouth,” he replied, finally.

“Excellent choice,” Adachi sang, and he propped himself up over Souji. They could have kissed from this position, but instead Adachi dragged the gun up Souji’s ribs. The cold metal shocked him, and he twitched against it.

“Hey! You need to stay still for this. Delicate stuff,” Adachi pressed, the barrel of the gun coming to rest on Souji’s bottom lip.

“Say ahh,” Adachi purred, his voice dropping an octave as he jammed the gun roughly into his mouth.

Souji’s tongue smashed against his bottom teeth, the gun’s hard edges pressing against him in all the wrong ways. The cold metal of it mixed with the metallic taste of blood as the foreign object scraped against his mouth. He groaned around it.

“Ooh, you like it!”

Souji felt a relief as the gun withdrew from his mouth, but then it pressed in again. He whimpered, trying to keep calm as the gun moved in and out, wet with his saliva and blood, each time hurting a little less.

“If you could only see yourself,” Adachi said, stroking himself to the same rhythm he pressed in the gun. “You look so fucking good doing this.”

Souji began stroking himself as well upon realizing he was still painfully hard. Adachi could pull the trigger and kill him, at any moment, but he _wasn’t._ He was bleeding, he couldn’t speak, he was absolutely powerless.

It felt incredible.

“Mph,” he moaned around the gun, letting his eyes flutter closed as he palmed his cock. The sensations threatened to overwhelm him, but he didn’t want to come yet. 

“Don’t want to get you too excited,” Adachi said, pulling the gun out fully. “Good job.” 

Souji let his jaw relax, wiped the residue from around his face.

“And now?” he asked. He couldn’t imagine how Adachi was keeping himself together. His dick was so hard now he felt like he could die from it.

“Turn over,” Adachi said.

Souji paused. “What about, uh,” he gestured, feeling as though he was forgetting something important. Then – “condoms. Do you have any?” 

“Isn’t this your first time, kid?” Adachi asked, a dark glint in his eye. “We don’t need one. Plus, it’ll feel a lot better for you without it. Don’t you want me to fill you up?”

Souji swallowed thickly and thought for a moment, then turned over without a word.

Immediately Adachi slammed his head into the pillow, pushing his ass in the air. He heard the squirting of the lube bottle behind him, the slippery noises of Adachi preparing himself.

“Do you know how many times I’ve thought about you like this?” Adachi whispered in Souji’s ear, draping his body across him, pressing his cock to Souji’s entrance. “I bet you’ve thought about me, too?”

Souji pressed back against him, wordless and Adachi chuckled.

“You really want me to wreck you, huh? Ask me nicely and I will.”

“Adachi, please,” Souji gulped. “ _Wreck me_.”

Adachi growled, sinking into Souji, and the prep had done its job – his cock sank in slowly. He rocked it in, impatient, until eventually he was fully sheathed inside him. They both were breathing hard.

“Wow, look at how easily you took my cock. You’re so nasty, Souji,” Adachi said, moving out and snapping his hips back in hard.

“ _Oh_ ,” Souji gasped. He’d never felt anything so good before. It still hurt a bit, but the smooth fullness was more than he could bear. 

“Remember what I said before? You can’t come unless I say so, okay? If you don’t I’m going to be really mad,” Adachi warned.

 “O-okay,” Souji agreed, “I won’t.”

Adachi responded with another snap of his hips, one hand shoving Souji’s face into the pillows, muffling his cries. He fucked into him at a brutal pace, lewd slapping noises filling the room as their bodies met.

  
“God you’re so tight, I feel like you’re sucking me in,” Adachi panted. “How long can you make it, I wonder?”

He took him harder, jutting hip bones ramming against Souji’s ass so hard they left bruises. Adachi wrapped a hand around his neck and pulled him up off the pillows, his back flush against Adachi’s chest. Souji caught himself with his hands, gulping down air, broken moans echoing through the room as he met each thrust.

“You love being fucked like this, huh? You wanted me to fuck you this whole time,” Adachi hummed into Souji’s ear, “Because you know you’re mine.”

Souji felt his dick throb at those words, bouncing against his stomach with each thrust. Adachi hit him even deeper now, faster, and he couldn't remember anything except how  _good_ he felt.

“Adachi!” Souji cried, “P-please let me come!”

Adachi reached a hand around to Souji’s front, teasing at his cock.

"Say my name again," he whispered in his ear.

"Adachi," Souji chanted it like a prayer. "Adachi, Adachi, Ad-a-chi!"

“One more time," Adachi said, his low tone conveying just how much Souji's words were affecting him. And Souji loved it.

" _Adachi,"_ he breathed.

"Mmm, good job, Souji," Adachi praised, kissing him on the nape. "You want your reward now?"

Souji nodded so vigorously he felt his head might snap off of his neck. Tears welled up in his eyes - he needed this, he deserved this.

 "Go ahead. Cum,” he commanded, jerking Souji’s cock twice.

He came with a shout, his ass clenching around Adachi as he arched back against him. His blurred vision went white as cum shot out, spilling over Adachi’s hand and the sheets beneath them. Souji's mouth hung open in a silent scream, body twitching with aftershocks. 

Adachi fucked him through it, his mouth wide in an almost feral smile. Souji pitched forward on the bed, landing in his own fluid, his fists clenching weakly for purchase in the sheets. He felt bits of the stuff smear into his hair and cheek, but he didn't care.

“Haha, what a mess,” Adachi laughed, pushing his face further into it. Souji groaned, biting his lip.

He pressed into him again, hands pulling Souji's spent body to meet him.

"You’re disgusting Souji. _Perfect_  -  _disgusting -_ _Souji_ ,” he spat, and with each word, he pressed in with erratic fervor. “I can't believe you're letting me do this. Look at you, so pathetic - ngh -  _Fuck!"_

Adachi moaned hoarsely, fingers digging so hard into Souji's hips they felt more like brands. His hips lurched forward, and Souji felt something hot seeping into him. He blushed, feeling the way it pooled around the hard cock still inside, stuffing him.

He liked the way it felt. 

They stayed like that for a few moments, then Adachi pulled out, collapsing on the bed next to Souji. Souji had never felt exhaustion like he did then, the room still wobbling around the edges, and his eyelids closed of their own accord.

He felt Adachi off the bed and heard him stumble toward the light switch.

Souji tried to piece together what had just happened, but his mind felt blank. It was both blissful and troubling. Adachi managed to maneuver them both under the covers, and after a brief moment of hesitation, flung an arm around him, pulling him close.

“Goodnight, Adachi,” Souji said. He reached for Adachi's hand without thinking, hung loosely by his hip, and squeezed it idly. He felt it stiffen - but it didn't move away.

“G'night, brat,” Adachi slurred back.

Souji couldn't fight back a small smile as they drifted off.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the true slow burn is that it took me 2 years to write this chap :'^) anyway im suffering
> 
> follow me at my new fanfic blog [HERE](http://maeihas.tumblr.com) if u wanna chat


	7. Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for implied dubcon and emotionally abusive rhetoric

A dull pounding in his head greeted Souji as he opened his eyes. His tongue was paper dry, and he licked at his lips to wet it. They tasted strange, something he couldn’t quite place in his daze.

He turned, groaning with half-sleep, then froze as his leg grazed someone else’s. The skin felt hairy, slightly coated in something, perhaps a layer of sweat. Souji’s eyes flew open fully, dragging down disheveled black hair, the plane of Adachi’s neck, thin upper shoulders facing away from him. The man was snoring. Peaceful. 

He shifted away from Adachi, softly so he wouldn’t wake him up. He brought a hand to his mouth to cover a silent scream. 

He tasted the blood now, he knew how the gun had tore at the insides of his cheeks. He felt the remnants of Adachi inside him, slick, his ass sore and raw. His jaw ached, his thigh muscles were tight with overuse. Souji didn’t remember everything, but he remembered enough.

He’d really fucked up this time.

He moved robotically to the side, sliding himself out from the covers as horizontally as possible. Adachi was a heavy sleeper – so thankfully, he didn’t budge an inch. Souji stood upright beside the bed, silent as a shadow, and felt the delayed rush of blood nearly topple him over. He felt nauseous, his head and body aching, but he peered at the digital alarm clock on the desk through squinted eyes – 8:47am. It was morning, and the apartment smelled stale and cold. 

He found his boxers discarded near the door, and pulled them on. Shivering, he spotted a sweatshirt Adachi had slung over the nearby dresser. It was simple, black, and looked as though it hadn’t been worn very often. Souji pulled it over his head and was overwhelmed by the smell of it - disheveled, musty, an undertone of basic soap. It smelled unmistakably like Adachi, disused as it appeared. He squeezed his eyes shut, seeing colors behind the lids, thinking that this might all be a bad dream. But the smell kept him anchored there. It lay underneath the warm fleece, festering in his nose. A reminder. _You did this._

Souji left the room, feeling heavier with each step. 

Had he enjoyed it? He thought he had, but he wasn’t sure. He was sure he had _wanted_ it, he’d unfortunately thought about it enough. But acting on it, encouraging Adachi, actually _making it happen_ – he hadn’t expected that. He definitely hadn't expected to feel this awful afterward.

His bare feet padded against the floor with each step, the blood flowing into them as he moved. The floor anchored him as best as he could hope, but he hadn’t noticed how he’d gotten from Adachi’s room to the kitchen.

The coffee pot sat squat on the counter, white plastic almost glowing against the ceiling lights. With a maximum of 4 cups, it was hardly impressive.

Souji moved toward it, reaching without thinking. 

 _Remember, one scoop of coffee per cup you pour in,_ He heard his uncle say. _Careful, if you brew it too strong or too weak it’s unsatisfying. You have to get the proportions right!_

He opened the cupboard above it, groping around to find the coffee. He was crying a little, he realized as his own hiccup broke the blanket of silence. 

Souji should be at the Dojima’s, hearing him coach him through the coffee making process. He shouldn’t have burned those letters. He shouldn’t be in this barren apartment. But he _liked_ Adachi, and feeling important, and feeling needed. He even liked being used - after all, it was all he’d ever been good for. Adachi was everything to him now, regardless. Wasn’t that enough? Was he so selfish that he wanted more, that he wanted his friends, family, AND Adachi?

Not that Adachi would even want him if he wasn’t offering up his body so freely. Or would he want him more if he withheld sex from him?

Souji’s hands moved through the motions as Dojima had taught him, measuring first the coffee, then the water. He poured it in and pressed the button, the world coming to a standstill as he watched the red light blink. The coffee maker wrung out some pathetic gurgling noises before the pot began to fill. 

He stared at the light. It blinked on, then off, then on again in an endless cycle. Must be nice to be a coffee maker – an entire existence was devoted to one act. Even if the stupid thing wasn’t very good at it, at least it was still here. Serving its purpose, one wheezy steam puff at a time. Until it was time to throw it away.

“Morning!”

Souji’s entire body jerked at the voice, accompanied by the sloppy thumps of socked feet down the stairs. He pretended to be busy with the pot, but knew his shoulders were too tense. 

A hand plopped onto his shoulder. Souji could see the threadbare bathrobe sleeve in his peripheral vision.

“Look at you, making coffee for me before I'm up! That’s almost cute,” Adachi smirked, “ _Domestic,_ even.”

“I thought it might be good,” Souji mumbled. He pressed his lips together, keeping his face blank.

Adachi squeezed his shoulder. “Hey, why the long face? Didn’t you have fun last night?”

Souji kept his eyes on the coffee. It dripped into the pot, too slowly. “I did, but I don’t remember all of it. I didn’t think we would do,” he took a small breath, " _that_.”

The coffee brewed.  _Drip.... drip.... drip..._

“Well, shit, what did you think was going to happen? Souji, I only did all those things because I thought it’s what you _wanted_!” Adachi exclaimed, taking a step back. “You really think I try to hook up with guys like that all the time?”

“Then why did you want to do it with me?” Souji asked, finally turning to face him. He’d raised his voice louder than he ever had against the other man. “Maybe I’m not like you after all!”

Adachi backed away, taking his hand off Souji and putting it up in a cease fire. He looked less than intimidating in his frayed navy blue bathrobe and hole-y socks, and Souji almost backed down.

“Souji, you _are_ like me.” Adachi said, ruffling his own hair absently. “You know that. But you're special.”

Souji looked down at his hands, stunned and unable to pick out a single counterargument. After everything he'd done for this man, what had he become? Were they that similar after all? And  _Adachi had called him special_.

“Maybe,” he whispered. 

“Look, I just did what both of us wanted,” he stepped closer to him again, “and we had a little push from the booze. That’s all! I mean, did you hear yourself last night? Just begging me, _begging me,_ to fuck you.”

Souji bit his lip. That he had wanted it didn’t explain how hollowed out he felt. “I wasn’t fully myself,” Souji said, trying to explain it in a way that made sense.

“I know, okay?” Adachi replied sharply. The air tightened for a moment, then loosed with Adachi's exhale. He placed a hand on Souji’s back. It felt firm, safe somehow.

“Listen, I’m sorry, babe. But I was having so much fun, I wanted to celebrate! I won’t do it again unless you ask, okay?”

Souji felt the negative emotions rush out of him, unnaturally, as if bring dragged out by some sort of drug. 

“Babe?” He asked, meeting Adachi’s eyes for the first time that morning. One word and the weight in his chest seemed to lift, ever so slightly. He was sickened by his own reaction.

“Ah!” Adachi bit his lip, turning away and scratching his chin. “Oops, guess it just slipped out.”

Souji knew it probably wasn’t an accident. He knew Adachi wanted to smooth things over and was manipulating the situation in his favor, like always. 

He knew, but he just didn’t care. 

“It's... nice,” Souji said, turning away. “But I think I need to leave soon. I have to think about all this.”

Too much had happened for Souji to process anything more. He wanted to be back in the city before Sayoko's body was found, before his friends discovered he was in Inaba. Before he destroyed himself even more.

“I understand,” Adachi said, and Souji blinked back at him in surprise. He hadn't expected he'd be allowed to leave early so easily. "You really did a great job here, you deserve a rest! Even if I'd prefer you spending that time with me, I guess I can make an exception this once." 

Souji exhaled. "Thank you," he said, feeling the knot in his chest loosen slightly.

Adachi opened the nearby cabinet at that, pulling out two mugs and placing them on the counter decisively. “But at least stay for the coffee! You worked so hard making it.”

Souji snorted at that. “Not really,” he said. He still felt a bit outside of himself. The dripping had quieted since the coffee was done. Souji felt the absence of it in the air. He began filling the two mugs, and Adachi leaned against the counter next to him. It felt normal, for a moment.

“Nonsense! You know, if you weren’t a guy, you’d make such a cute girlfriend.”

The comment wrapped around Souji, squeezing him for a moment, then drifted away. It was easier to ignore things like that now, he found. 

“And you’d be an even better girlfriend if you sucked me off before you left,” Adachi added, an afterthought. Souji locked up, mid-pour, but managed to stop himself before overfilling the mug.

More of _whatever this was_  couldn’t really hurt him now, could it? He was already too far gone, completely removed from the person he had been just a couple of days ago. It would make Adachi happy. That's what he wanted, right?

He took a deep breath and turned, sinking to his knees in front of the man. They buckled a bit against the cold tile. He looked up and found himself level with Adachi's cock, already half hard, the length of it visible as he lazily opened his robe with one hand. The other hand went to Souji's hair, his long fingers winding through it, tugging in a way that Souji knew now was the closest Adachi would get to showing affection.

Souji felt, for a moment, like he was kneeling at an altar. A place of worship.

The place he belonged now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a pretty personal chapter for me. felt good to get it out there.
> 
> also you may have noticed I'm adding an epilogue! ._. I had too much more I needed to add to finish it here!
> 
> follow my [fic blog!](http://maeihas.tumblr.com)


	8. Monday

When Souji returned home from the train station on Sunday night, his parents were gone. 

He took a much longer shower than he was usually permitted, hugging himself hard under the hot water, as if the pressure and heat could pull him together. Perhaps with enough of it, he’d emerge as someone completely different, someone stronger, like a diamond from the earth.

Waking up the next morning after an entirely dreamless night, he knew that was wishful thinking. He was still Souji, defiled, a monster. And all he had to show for it was bruised skin and a silent phone.

Dressing was difficult. Since it was so close to graduation, the weather was warmer, and he knew he couldn’t pass off a turtleneck to cover the marks he’d been left. He rifled through his mom’s closet and found a plaid neck scarf, the material just light enough to be seasonal and dark enough to cover what he needed to. It looked a little strange against his school uniform, but he knew it was better than the alternative 

He borrowed some concealer for good measure to cover the remaining bits that were exposed. He touched up his ears, his hands, his upper neck, but hesitated upon reaching his face. His gray eyes were ringed with purple, and his skin was sunken at the cheeks.

Even with the makeup, he looked like shit.

Souji’s thoughts circled back to Adachi as they had so many times since he returned. How could the same man who killed two – no, three – women in cold blood, have taken such pains to understand him? All his attention on Souji, the entire weekend, like no one else’s had. Even during their awful mission.

Had Souji been blackmailed and manipulated? No, he’d burned those letters willingly - but now he’d actually _killed_ someone, all for the notion of companionship with some renegade cop? At least the Tohru Adachi he knew was real, ugliness and all. No pretenses, nothing to hide from him. Even if his motives and methods brought bile up Souji’s throat.

Souji glanced at the book Adachi had bought him, sitting on his desk with rumpled edges where he’d drunkenly thumbed through it. He felt a pang in his chest. No matter what had happened this weekend, one thing he was sure of were Adachi’s feelings. No matter how much the other man avoided them, they had to be real. Adachi wouldn’t hurt him again.

So why hadn’t he contacted him since he’d been back in the city?

Once he reached his school, classes passed in a blur. It didn’t matter to Souji anyway, college entrance exams were a faraway concept belonging to a different life. Throughout the day, he’d realize Adachi hadn’t contacted him yet, and his chest would seize. He gulped the anxious thoughts down with deep breaths. 

Maybe he’d been wrong. He’d just been a new toy, a way for Adachi to ease his perpetual boredom. Someone to use until all possible entertainment value had been exhausted.

He’d left Souji utterly empty, just like him.

Souji left school before the last bell rang. Perhaps sensing his new disquieting state of mind, his teacher didn’t stop him.

He walked around city corners with purpose, channeling his thoughts into the appointment he was rushing to. Pain would help. It had to. 

He eventually turned into the local tattoo parlor six blocks away. Filled with black leather chairs, canvased with artwork of demons and half-humans, yet impeccably clean. The disinfectant made him think of hospitals, and he felt sick.

The tattoo artist raised an eyebrow as he explained the design he had in mind.

“Really? That’s pretty simple – sure you don’t want something more flashy? Looks like you’ve got quite a few years to rock this,” She quipped, smiling at him. She had short hair, dark eye makeup and didn’t seem much younger than Adachi. Maybe he would have thought of her as pretty, once.

“Yes, just that,” Souji affirmed. “It’s important to me.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Well, if you’re sure.”

The women pushed his shirt sleeve back and readied the equipment. Her eyes scanned over two small finger-shaped bruises he’d forgotten to cover on his forearm, but she said nothing.

Souji had to stop himself from letting out an embarrassing noise when the needle touched down in the crook of his left elbow. It pricked into him, again and again, and he endured it in silence. This was nothing compared to everything he’d caused.

He stared at the wall, not wanting to look until it was complete, chewing his lip until it nearly bled. After about an hour, she stopped and pulled back to survey her work.

Souji looked down at three glistening tally marks, unobtrusive at the top of his inner forearm. The jet-black ink mixing with his blood made the artwork look like scars, angry and dark.

“Unusual, but I’m sure you’ll appreciate it more than I do,” she joked, standing up. “I’ll be right back with your receipts.”

He studied the marks, one slash for each women whose death he’d willingly aided in. Saki Konishi. Mayumi Yamano. Sayoko Uehara. A small amount of the pain they endured, transferred to him.

Souji’s life was forever transformed by his selfishness. He’d chosen to be a monster now, but he never wanted to forget that’s what he was.

He’d even left space for more. The certainty of that implication scared him more than anything else.

\-----

After returning home, he closed the door with shaking hands, his arm throbbing slightly under its bandage. Still no word from Adachi after an entire day. He needed a distraction, which took the form of some leftover sake his father had forgotten about in the fridge. He wasn’t sure how old it was, but he didn’t care at this point.

Pouring himself a glass without bothering to heat it up, he sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. He eyes glossed over at the programs and headlines, and he felt for a moment the urge to touch the screen, just for a moment, one more time – then a news bulletin started, stopping his arm mid-reach.

“The Inaba serial murder case was reopened this morning after Sayoko Uehara’s body was found strung up in a power line above the shopping district this morning. Ms. Uehara was a nurse of great ambition, aiming to one day work in a foreign country -”

Souji’s heart stopped. The camera wasn’t showing Sayoko’s body, but he knew what she must look like. He inhaled sharply. Adachi was onscreen now, with Dojima, giving an interview with the reporter. Souji turned up the volume, the deep sound of his uncle’s voice booming through the empty living room.

“The case has been reopened, that is correct.” he said, answering a question that Souji had missed.

“Dojima-san, wasn’t the culprit for the murders arrested nearly a year ago? What does the police have to say about another body found in this horrific and distinctive style?” The reporter drilled.

“We’re working under the assumption that this may be a copycat murder,” Dojima replied gruffly, “but I’m afraid the Inaba police have no further details about the case we can disclose at this time.”

“Taro Namatame is still imprisoned?”

Dojima scowled, “of course,” he snapped. “Now, if you’ll excuse us...”

Adachi hadn’t said a word. He stood next to his partner looking perfectly concerned and horrified by the scene, taking notes as he examined his surroundings. He looked toward the camera with a knowing, sympathetic look, and Souji felt as if he was staring directly at him.

His heart thrummed so fast he thought he might collapse, and he pressed the power button. Adachi’s false expression vanished.

It was over.

Souji cried out, a desperate noise, as if the sound wrenched itself from him without his consent. At least there was nobody to disturb in an empty house. His cheeks were wet with tears. He’d never cried so much in a short period of time 

His eyes drifted to his phone. He figured his friends in Inaba would start texting him any minute, but he didn’t even care anymore. What could he possibly say to them? How could he console them when it was _his fault?_

_bzzt, bzzt._

Souji lunged, the neck scarf unraveling in his fervor. He saw the name, simply “Adachi” now, and snapped the phone open.

_Hey, did you see me? I was on TV! ;) – Adachi_

Souji typed back furiously, _Why haven’t you contacted me at all today?_

_I wanted the show to be a surprise! Jeez, you’re no fun. – Adachi_

_We both knew what was going to happen._ Souji wrote, then added, _Can I call you?_

He chewed his bottom lip for the entire minute that passed until the detective responded.

 _Yeah, sure. But I’m busy, so make it quick! - Adachi_  

Souji counted the rings, _one, two_ , and then Adachi’s pleasant voice greeted him. 

“Hey, Souji! I’m hiding in the break room right now, but how’s my favorite accomplice?” 

“Adachi," Souji said, feeling his anxiety untwist upon hearing the other man's voice. "How is the investigation going? Is everything... clear?”

There was a chuckle. “Oh, Souji, of course everything’s clear. I covered our asses while you were still here, no need to worry your pretty little head about it.”

Souji stiffened a bit at the comment, thankful that Adachi couldn’t see his reactions. “You’re awfully cheerful,” he ventured.

“Why wouldn’t I be? This is the most exciting thing that’s happened in _month_ s. I’m fucking thrilled!"

“I guess you’re right,” Souji agreed. The events of the weekend had changed the entire course of his life. He supposed that could be considered exciting. 

“Y’know, if I can be a strong enough asset on this new case, I might be able to swing a transfer back to the big city. What are your plans after graduation? Maybe we could get an apartment together, make things easier in the future. Your parents wouldn’t care, right?”

Souji flushed with the implication. He’d be with Adachi all the time, whenever he wanted? As if he could ask for anything more at this point.

“Right,” he answered, and Adachi _hmm-_ ed approvingly.

“We’ll see how things turn out. Spending more time with you would be a sweet deal, honestly. Easy planning for future jobs _and_ someone to fuck whenever I want. It’s good for both of us!”

Souji didn’t want to accept the truth, that awful joy coiling inside him. The idea that what Adachi was offering might be _exactly what he wanted._

“That sounds nice, Adachi. I’d like that.”

There was a pause, and Souji could feel Adachi appraising him through the phone. His breaths were measured, as if he was thinking. Then –

“Hey, Souji. You love me, don’t you?”

The question pierced him like the needles from earlier, reaching inside him and touching something he no longer felt in control of.

“Yes,” he replied, and it came so easily he knew it must be true.

Adachi whistled, low and soft. “Wow. Sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah,” Souji said, his face screwing up with heated despair. “I am too.”

He really wasn’t in control anymore. Adachi had destroyed Souji, remade him, and yet a sick part of him felt at ease. He finally had a place now, somebody who needed him, who wanted to use him. He didn’t have to rely on others anymore, and a sheer liberation seeped through him.

This was his truth.

“Well, I didn’t have much time – I have to go. But you know the drill by now, Souji. Whenever I call...” Adachi trailed off expectantly, and Souji exhaled hard, trying to steady his voice.

“I’ll pick up,” Souji recited back.

“Good boy.”

The line clicked off, leaving Souji with a chill down his spine. He walked to his room and crawled into bed, thinking of Adachi. He was no longer some aimless-people pleasing teenager. He was an adult, with a partner, and that was enough.

He saw his phone light flashing on the nightstand – the Investigation team, no doubt asking their brave leader for help with the awful situation that continued to plague their life.

Souji reached over, glanced at the screen for a moment, then turned it off.

The room was dark, now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S FINALLY FINISHED
> 
> This fic has stuck with me through several difficult stages of my life, and I'm glad to say it's completed now. Thanks to everyone who read and enjoyed this, you all gave me the motivation to finish this so long after I'd stopped! 
> 
> If you want to talk to me I'm available [here.](http://maeihas.tumblr.com) I'm always down to talk about how gross Adachi is or how SORRY i am for putting Souji through all this T_T Again, thanks yall. <3


End file.
